I Really Need Some Advice On This!

[Retrochic]

'm in a predicament and really don't know how to address it. We were at my nephews engagement party and they had a lovely cake which I commented on and they told me the same person was going to do the wedding cake. In a rash moment I offered to buy the wedding cake as a wedding present and they were delighted. Anyway I've just been informed by my nephew that his fiance has decided to go with a different cake designer and they have chosen the cake and its going to cost - wait for it- £450! I'd budgeted at around £250 for the cake and although I could pay it, I feel its grossly extravagant for a cake -its just two layers of sponge! I feel I've been taken advantage of. What do I do? Gulp and pay the £450 or say something and offer to pay towards the cake -but what can I say that will not sound mean?

[Sqad]

*** hell....get out of that and there is only one way.
Address them straight in the face or by phone txt , email and say that you will certainly make a contribution of £200 to the purchase of the cake.

There is no other way other than to fork out the £45o.

[dunnitall]

I think you have been taken advantage of too! I would tell them it's too much for a cake in your opinion and you didn't mind paying the original price but this is beyond what you expected and won't be paying it. I know I'm blunt but people really have to be put in their place when taking advantage of others generosity.

[Jeza]

Foot in mouth moment. Have a word they should have asked before they changed the baker.

[jennyjoan]

Retro - that is a predicament and one that your nephew shouldn't have put you in

Just say "Oh I only was going to go £250 and there ya are" let them more or less pay the difference. £250 is an excellent amount of money - anyway how far down the line is the wedding - by then you can soften the blow if you like with time.

[Zacs-Master]

Surprisingly, that's not all that much for a wedding cake. I know of a couple of people's cakes costing around £1k, so count yourself lucky.

[Svejk]

insist on having the solid gold stand and the Meissen figurines when they've finished with them.

[Mamyalynne]

Presuming the £250 was the price the first cake maker would have charged then I would make it clear that was my budget and smile.

[237SJ]

Do you know for sure that the original designer wouldn`t also have charged £450?

[Jeza]

£1,000 for a cake Zacs.............not of my money. I'd buy ½ a dozen frozen gateaux, but then again I rarely eat cake.

[mallyh]

have a word with your nephew and say you are willing to pay (very generously i think)£250 .

[NoMercy]

I'd just grin and bear it. Think how happy you'll make them - you can't put a price on that.

They will remember their wedding day, and your generosity and kindness, forever.

[naomi24]

Come clean. Tell them you'll be delighted to give them £250 towards it.

[murraymints]

As above send a cheque for £250..in card 'contribution towards cake..as agreed ! blummn generous too !

[237SJ]

The thing is, you said "I`ll buy your wedding cake" You didn`t say "I`ll give you £250 towards your wedding cake" If it was me, I`d probably just cringe and pay up (and then drink a shed load of champagne at their wedding to get some of my money`s worth)

[Old_Geezer]

I don't think it sounds mean; you aren't trying to wriggle out of a wedding gift. Simply tell them that, that was more than you intended to pay from a wedding gift, and since the new cake designer is to cost that much, whilst you are happy to contribute to the cost, you can not contemplate anything like £450.

If you are feeling brave you could add, "You must be blooming joking !"

[Retrochic]

The wedding is next June. At the engagement party I said what a lovely cake they had and they commented that it had cost £120 From the size of it I reckoned a wedding cake would be about double that price taking into account they only wanted two tiers and sponge cake not fruit cake. Maybe its my mistake for not saying I would give 'X' amount for a cake but not in my wildest dreams did I think a sponge cake would cost that much. its not so much the money as the waste of it. I would rather give then £450 towards a washer or cooker than a blinking spongecake. Any ideas on how I can word a letter to them? Without seeming as if I've gone back on my word?

[Sqad]

With a bit of luck, they might split up between now and the wedding...;-)

NoM

\\\They will remember their wedding day, and your generosity and kindness, forever\\\

Yeah right.

[Old_Geezer]

That said consider it a life lesson to know what the possible cost is before making an offer to give over an unsigned cheque.

[-Talbot-]

Tell them you will knock one up yourself. They are taking liberties.

[NoMercy]

If you pay the full price, you'll be parting with more than you intended, if you make a contribution, you only bought half a present.

In years to come you won't miss the extra £200, but they'll always remember their beautiful wedding cake which you kindly bought for them.

I don't think it's worth haggling over.