Mad Over 50's Club now open

[Mamyalynne]

Good evening all - Milady is indisposed this evening , I have taken up restorative beef tea and the Dulux colour chart (pastels only) for her and will check on progress later.

So it falls to me to open proceedings, without the help of Danny Boyle I will do my best.

The buffet is divided into five continental sections , so there should be something for all - from Borscht to Sushi and Snags to Hotpot......this week I have made a huge cauldron of tonight's tailcock.....Flamin' eck.. a surprising and uplifting brew with a lovely copper colour.

For the Rofl:

A Javelin (blunt)
Dizzee Rascal's signed baseball cap
Mr Bean's Hanky
Sir Simon Rattles Rattle
Model helicopter

So let us gather and have a good chat, there may be fireworks later, if I can get a leg up to the ramparts.

[DTCwordfan]

Good evening to all and a happy sporting occasion beckons, except I need to head over to the local for a wee while…..back later though.
Riffle offerings:
One broken hammer ball. (useful coal bucket)
One spiked sprinters shoe (very good for bedroom play)
One Copper Petal
One pair of Michael Phelps Speedos (used twice only)
For the men, One pair of Ennis running shorts
One Diving Board, split
The 8001st Olympic Torch, no holes or gas in it
Seb Coe’s alternative Speech, 30 pages and abridged
A Cushion marked ERII
A blanket marked Rogge’s rug
A bucket of Horseguards Sand
Three Arrows and a Dartboard for Outdoor Darts
Barenboim's thingy stick plus one Beethoven Mask

[Lie-in King]

Good evening Matron & guests. For the rifl I can offer -

2 tickets to the opening ceremony of...the...Olympic Games...ah...
A left-handed discus
A swimming certificate that proves the holder swam 1 length of the pool

I shall begin serving tailcocks immediately. I doubt there will any hiding of coats this evening...

[dotty.]

i've actually got a book of unused raffle tickets here, i was going to put them on eBay but if needed they're yours...........I don't quite qualify for your club but I am supportive none the same.

[Mamyalynne]

Dotty that is kind, all offerings are welcome, do have a Flamin eck before you leave.

DT what an array, puts my paltry list to shame.

Good evening Butle.....opening ceremony eh??

[DTCwordfan]

Normally I would wait to later - Promise to be back

It may surprise many of you but poetry (rofl) was a crucial part of the original Grecian Olympics.

Therefore as an ode tonight before Nungate arrives with her Llama Flag, may I offer you the following The Castle 50th Olympian Ode:

Every Mad50s Aber will cheer
The biggest sports fever:
The Castle Olympics, 2012
That began on July 27th to August twelve.
Olympics rooted in Greece
Now, the AB Castle sports meet
Every four years it takes place,
At the same venue stewarded by LIK, our buttle host.
Castle Olympic owdhamer betting slips as wyedyed symbols:
Motto, “Tailcocks and Alba’s Diamond Rings”
Represent the Naomi-24 values of the Mad Over 50s’ Olympics…
Exhibit The Castle’s sporting lack of Purdie ‘excellence’,
However, extend Boxtops ‘friendship’ from one thread to another,
Convey AB ‘respect’ for each other.
The Castle Nibbled Flag shows
Five interlocking coloured buckets
That means ever more banquets, riffles and Eccles muffets
Engraved Glasses that have their owners name etched in lead
Lady J, Tonyav, Nungate, Vodka and FGT aka red
On a Pastafreaky white tea-towel background, not fit for a croc’s bed.
Defines at least one among the six tailcock colours
That’s common in all ABers boozy flags.
The Castle Motto based on Lady A’s pecuniary greed and creed
Encourages a good Mamya bun fight until the TTFN end
Matters the BigJack most and not just Towie success in the toilet bend.
Three Bibblebub Latin words:
CITIUS, PRONUS and FORTIUS
Utters the Motto of Castle Olympics
In English it cites:
SWIFTER (down the throat),
PROSTRATE (fall flat in the moat)
and STRONGER (alcohol – potent enough to power Sloopy’s boat)
That makes the Castle event a Dotty pleasure.
The Castle in AB as if it was in Greece
The original city of the Olympics, the inspiration for AB Peace
Always privileged to be the first to lit the Kennitby Flame
Months before the Castle Games
Only through the Specsavers induced rays of Dave’s putrid sun
This Donna ‘Flame’ through a golden Petal torch, then run
Gets carried by polarbears and Jumbo relayed
Until it reaches the host DaisyNonna decorated stadium
That’s where at the Saturday night maggiebee’s ceremony
Lady A lights the ethandron cauldron
Mrs Overall’s radio gas, it then remains tenrec lightened
Till the Castle Games reach its zac end.
The Father (or Mother?) of our modern AB Games:
«Le Baron Pierre de l’Ed-et-Des-gnomes », no Queen of Mean fame,
A Kettering citizen, not far from our darling Lottie
Tailcock drunk and accident-prone, on her tiny Norwich bottie
In 2006 brought lurid excelsior sports and crazy gness athletics
Under a sibton-styled banner called the Castle Olympics.
The medals: gold bakersdozen eclairs, Boo silver cakes, NoM bronze cookies
All have an image of a Goddess Flumpy
The AB Goddess of slinky (kinky?) sex and seadogg victory

But the man-withering pixie Mascot offers a nice cazzy change.

The Castle Games is always the 50th edition
With “Tinks’ as our naked nubile mascot
Promises to present
A heartwarming AB view, and more for the men, of a sports meet
Along with the participants of our mad AB nation
Rise above all tailcocks to sport a true Flaming Eck spirit
That fuels our Castle Olympics elation.

[Lie-in King]

Good evening Mr DT - your "Best Bard In The World" flagon shall be filled upon your return.

Miss dotty - the rules as to membership have been known to be a little fuzzy - as have most of the guests, it must be said. Perhaps a flagon of Matron's Flamin' eck as you consider the matter?

[Mamyalynne]

Dt a veritable masterpiece as always, quite emotional ...sniff.

[Psybbo]

Good evening matron et al, I was just chatting with the croc to see what coats he fancied tonight. For the riffle I have one green golf tee, a golf umbrella and some (very) Old Spice

[Lie-in King]

Marvellous, Mr DT!

Good evening Miss sibton, how nice to see you. I have taken the liberty of bringing a flagon of Flamin' eck...

[Mamyalynne]

Welcome Sibton, nice to see you.

[slinky.kate]

just in for a short while as i am still recuperating from my cold i gave ladyA,a flamin eck with ice would be lovely,riflet prizes are as follows,
a left handed pump
one of either a spider or an eye lash(take your pick)
i double spouted teapot with pink roses and heather on it
half tube e45.

[owdhamer]

Good evening mamya, is the helicopter remote controlled, if so could i swap it for some old lino tiles, a puddle , a dead roach,and a torn rubble sack. I hope you are well and her ladyship soon recovers,I blame the butler.Have been a bit rough myself since the chemo on weds, but best foot forward.A young girl out of the village Jessica Lloyd swam for GB today in the relay and performed very well,she swims in the final tonight.Will I be ok for horlicks later?

[nungate]

I have an etched glass?..............

[Psybbo]

Oh thank you sir butler, just what I need. Matron may I say how fetching you look tonight

[Lie-in King]

Good evening Miss kinky! One iced flagon of Flamin' eck & please keep your spider to yourself as I do not perform at my best in their presence...

[Mamyalynne]

Kate, so glad you are starting to mend, smashing prizes.

Owd, I am well - I understand how debilitating chemo can be, sure be fine for some Horlicks later. Grab your tickets and you never know about the prize you may win.

[Lie-in King]

Good evening to Mr owdhamer & Miss nungate.

Sir - would you care for a tailcock before Matron organises your Horlicks?

Miss - perhaps you have, but I presumed your usual bucket to be your preference?

[Mamyalynne]

Sibton that is sweet of you, starched my cap today, hope the squeaking is not off putting??

Owd, splendid news about Jessica, home grown talent swells the heart.

[nungate]

A bucket will be most acceptable your Maj

[tonyav]

Good evening all, for tonight's Rofl one set of ignition points ( 1962 Triumph Herald ) a ball bearing ( used to be a shot put, but you know with wear and tear ) and a water pistol ( stopper in the handle is missing ).
I am afraid my skunk is not here tonight as he has gone on a daytrip to a sewage works somewhere. Your matronship a bucket of your fine tailcock Flamin eck would be most welcome, also a request for your goodnight thread later if you don't mind, At The Top Of The Stairs by the Formations, tia.