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Berniecuddles2

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Patsy33
A photon checks into a hotel and is asked if he needs any help with his luggage, "no thanks, I'm travelling light."...
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Berniecuddles2
My girlfriend just passed her driving test and asked me to buy her something cheap to run around in. So I bought her trainers from Lidl....
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jordyboy14
I read that the granny shagger is at it again, Colleen should dump him
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Bazile
Apparently vasectomies can now be carried out while you wait Me - I'd prefer to do a bit of shopping in the meantime...
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Berniecuddles2
the Guy who owned all the Odeon cinemas has died. His funeral is on Monday @ 2:10, 4:20 & 8:40...
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Berniecuddles2
I was addicted to sex so I decided to go cold turkey. Now I've been banned from all Iceland shops.
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Smowball
I have this bizarre urge to go and cook fried bread!! Haven't had it for god knows how long but I'm almost salivating at the thought lol. How odd is that??
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-Talbot-
https://twitter.com/perfectbabies/status/903744999036243973...
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NoMercy
I have a choice between chilli con carne or a dirty kebab (a keema nan from the Indian which was brought home last night, stuffed with shish kebabs and chicken Tikka with tomato chilli sauce and mint...
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Berniecuddles2
A dentist and a manicurist had a terrible fight, They fought tooth and nail....
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Islay
Anyone been?
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marval
I have just asked out a man I have known for years and I am distraught. The most attractive person you could ever meet, eyes that you can't help but stare into, wit that could get everyone laughing,...
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mikey4444
North Korean ambassador summoned by the UK http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-41113372 I bet Ding Dang Dong wished he hadn't bothered now !...
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Patsy33
I've developed a craving of pouring fabric conditioner over my food. The doctor said it's just comfort eating..
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-SharonA-
I tried to sue the airport for losing my luggage, but I lost the case!!
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Patsy33
My mate came from a broken home, his dad was a shocker at DIY....
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Berniecuddles2
I think my wife sells drugs? As I was leaving the phone rang. When I answered it the bloke on the other end said "has that dope gone yet?"...
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Berniecuddles2
Some years ago I worked as a plastic surgeon.. it raised a few eyebrows I can tell you my neighbour has had 4 face lifts ..she has a stunning beard now!...
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cupid04
Mr Tickle wanted to marry the girl of his dreams. Sadly, Tess was reluctant to take on his surname!...
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melv16
I'm going to buy a new mob phone. Can anyone recommend an easy to use phone? My budget is around £200-00....

281 to 300 of 1438

First Previous 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 Next Last