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Chipchopper

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Thyme To Garden - December 2017

Hello all! Here is a new sticky gardening thread for December. What has everyone been up to in the great outdoors now that the cold weather has officially set in? The November thread is here:...
11:33 Fri 01st Dec 201712 answers, last by woofgang 18:05 Thu 07th Dec 2017
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Voltage

Tinsel!

Tampax have announced that they will be replacing their traditional tampon string with tinsel. This will be for the Christmas Period only....
07:08 Fri 01st Dec 20175 answers, last by marval 18:21 Fri 01st Dec 2017
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Biccylova

Jenny Wren Feeding

I often see two little Jenny Wrens pottering about round the base of my greenhouse and shed, but not lately, do they hibernate? if not what do they eat and is there something I could put out to help...
16:55 Thu 30th Nov 20179 answers, last by melv16 20:22 Fri 01st Dec 2017
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Chipchopper

Porky Tales

I was reading a book on pig anatomy the other day. It all seemed pretty straightforward to begin with, until I got near the end. Then there was a strange twist in the tale....
20:49 Thu 30th Nov 20175 answers, last by Voltage 22:02 Thu 30th Nov 2017
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melv16

Rats

I've just seen one int back garden.... Do I tell the Mrs?
12:32 Thu 30th Nov 201731 answers, last by 237SJ 22:53 Thu 30th Nov 2017
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waterboatman

Good Morning Early Birds!

Thursday. Lots of stars out to play this morning. A light frost. The ongoing saga of the shower room. A very nice bloke turned up, on time, and worked almost non stop all day. A wee lass form the...
05:42 Thu 30th Nov 2017140 answers, last by murraymints 10:07 Thu 30th Nov 2017
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Jahulaye

To Look After Our Elderly In Winter

Wouldn’t it be a great idea if the government gave the elderly extra money as part of the “heating allowance to buy sleeping bags, scarves, thermals and ski suits in case of boiler failure....
19:10 Sat 25th Nov 201768 answers, last by hereIam 17:03 Sun 26th Nov 2017
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Chipchopper

Crunch....

I was driving along quite happily, when this idiot in a smart car, in front of me slammed his anchors on. I tried to avoid crashing into him, but ended up slightly knocking his bumper. Next thing,this...
19:27 Sat 25th Nov 20174 answers, last by Hopkirk 23:48 Wed 29th Nov 2017
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Voltage

Cooked Dinner...

My wife asked if she could have a little peace and quiet while she cooked dinner... So I took the battery out of the smoke detector!...
18:04 Thu 23rd Nov 20178 answers, last by Patsy33 19:19 Thu 23rd Nov 2017
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ethandron

Evening Meal

Due to having had my oven professionally cleaned today, I am never using it again, so tonight we're having a microwave cookable ham and chicken thing from m&s and a load of steamed cauli. What about...
17:20 Tue 21st Nov 201748 answers, last by ethandron 20:14 Thu 23rd Nov 2017
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Chipchopper

A Ripe Old Time

I know a farmer who makes tomato puree in an old tin bath tub. He said "I like to fully amerce myself, from my head tomato's"...
18:56 Mon 20th Nov 20174 answers, last by Shaglene 09:43 Tue 21st Nov 2017
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Patsy33

I Stepped

I stepped on snail once as a child. It was my very first crush.
18:31 Mon 20th Nov 201729 answers, last by Patsy33 20:29 Mon 20th Nov 2017
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Voltage

I Know A Bloke

I know a bloke who is mute, he communicates through embroidery. Sew to speak....
12:51 Mon 20th Nov 201712 answers, last by davegosling 15:34 Tue 21st Nov 2017
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Bazile

Shiitake

A mushroom walks into a bar during happy hour , sits down and orders a drink. The bartender says "We don't serve mushrooms here." The mushroom says,"Why not? I'm a fun guy!"...
14:20 Mon 20th Nov 201711 answers, last by emmie 18:17 Mon 20th Nov 2017
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Voltage

Have You Noticed?

Men at 26 play football. Men at 40 play tennis. Men at 60 plays golf. Have you noticed every time you get older your balls gets smaller?...
21:22 Sat 18th Nov 20179 answers, last by Chipchopper 11:16 Sun 19th Nov 2017
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AB Editor

Thyme To Garden - November 2017

Hello all, Woofgang requested a sticky gardening thread where green-fingered ABers can post their hints, tips and garden updates. So if you need help in the garden, lettuce know, and leaf all your...
15:31 Wed 08th Nov 201729 answers, last by woofgang 17:27 Mon 27th Nov 2017
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melv16

Beech Mast

I gather one of the reasons that we've got many hawfinches in the country, is due to the failure of the beech mast crop on the continent. I had a walk round my local park this morning and found...
16:44 Fri 17th Nov 20172 answers, last by melv16 12:48 Thu 07th Dec 2017
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Voltage

Trousers!

Why should you always get your wife to buy trousers for you? Because chinos what’s best....
08:50 Fri 17th Nov 201713 answers, last by Shaglene 17:05 Fri 17th Nov 2017
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Chipchopper

In A Cafe...

A Frenchman ordered one egg on toast for his breakfast. The waitress later came to his table and asked "are you sure that will that be sufficient sir ?. "Yes, thats enoeuf" He replied....
10:48 Thu 16th Nov 201712 answers, last by DTCwordfan 20:23 Thu 16th Nov 2017
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maggiebee

Oops

I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I don’t know what he laced them with, but I’ve been tripping all day....
19:42 Thu 16th Nov 20174 answers, last by DTCwordfan 16:39 Fri 17th Nov 2017

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