LochNessMonster Member Profile in The AnswerBank

I Have Just Inherited $10 Million

According to Mrs Morrex Abdggi of Ouagadougou (where the f...is that??) Ah well, it makes a change from the numerous offers I get to buy a PhD from non existent colleges in the USA.

abstibus

Mouse Alert

Could a mouse climb up an uncovered washing machine outlet pipe? Anyway, friend has one. She saw it running across her sitting room floor, next to the kutchen. She lives on the second floor and had...

LochNessMonster

Topical Joke For You All ?

An Englishman, a Italian and a Scotsman were in a boat together in Loch Ness. When I made a surpise visit ? The Frenchman jumped out the boat and I eat him, the same with the Italian. The Scotsman...

mrs_overall

Email Spam

One of my email addresses has gone from having no junk mail to about 50 a day in one fell swoop. The are mainly American and are the same every day: dating sites for Christians/Jews/pensioners (bloody...

LochNessMonster

Funny Joke For You All (Bit Rude)

This farmer's ram dies just before lambing season. So he phones his neighbour who is also a famer and asks him how much would it cost him to buy a ram from him. He reply's £3000 ! the bloke say's he...

Zacs-Master

If You Could Instill One Piece Of Advice In A Newborn Baby’S Mind,

what advice would you give?

Mattk

Ebay Undelivered Item

I bought an item which was sent by the seller using Royal Mail. The parcel can be tracked but when I visit the RM website it says that they tried to deliver Saturday and left the usual card. The...

CailinDeas

Banking....

Shown below, is an actual letter that was sent to a bank by an 86 year old woman. The bank manager thought it amusing enough to have it published in the Times. Dear Sir: I am writing to thank you for...

MadMen

Light Bulb Keeps Blowing

When I switch on the light in one particular room it blows (if that's the right word) and makes all the other lights in that part of the house go off. I can resolve this by flicking the trip switch...

Meadoway

Computer Printing Problem

I have just received an e-mail from a friend giving information about bar-codes. Bar codes are listed and you can tell which country the product has come from. when trying to print off the actual...

mrs_overall

Good Morning Campers

So you thought you were rid of me for a while longer did you? lol Many thanks for your unsympathetic messages - they were relayed to me by the lovely Gness and most of them cheered me up no end. Those...

Jemisa

How Much Is...?

A man walks into a toy shop to get a Barbie doll for his 7yr old daughter. So he asks the assistant, as you would, "How much is Barbie?" "Well," she says, "we have Barbie Goes to the Gym for £19.95,...

Connemmara

Dunlopillo Beds

I have been sleeping on a fair enough bed for about 5-6 years now - but since I am suffering from a fair amount of pain - am looking for a little softer - but I know from memory's sake that my mum had...

keithlbw

Neigh.

Had a lovely Tesco burger last night.....and woke up with a bit in my mouth this morning.

bazwillrun

Tesco's Burgers....

They're low in fat but surprisingly high in Shergar......

hardy49

The Day After Tomrrow

Could anybody please let me know the title of the music played in this film

ChillDoubt

Breaking News: Tesco Veggie Burgers

Are being tested for traces of uniquorn.

wendilla

Ebay Re Watch List

Does the person that is advertising the goods for sale on e bay know how many people are watching in there list?

kayakamina

Araucaria - Sad News

The brilliant Guardian setter has used his crossword today to announce that he terminal cancer. I have been wrestling with his puzzles for years and he has given me a great deal of enjoyment (and...