In Tesco’s car park there are two fit looking Eastern European girls offering to wash your car. They rub their-soapy breasts on your windows and then tell you the only payment they want is a lift to...
A man gets pulled over by a traffic cop, as he drives through town, after the sharp eyed cop spots a monkey sitting in the passenger seat of the car. Cop: "Sir you can't just ride around with a monkey...
Teacher asks a kid how many dogs he would have if she gave him two dogs, then another two dogs? The kid replies that they would have five dogs. The teacher replies, no you're not listening. If I gave...
A Group of guys, all turning 40, discussed where they should meet for lunch. Finally it was agreed that they would meet at Wetherspoons in Uxbridge because the waitresses had big breasts and wore...
I’m going away in March with another 3 friends for two weeks in the sun, we’ve decided on the Friday night that we’d stay in and have a game similar to that of shots but this is chocolate with...
Good Evening, I’ve got my date for my Carpal Tunnel surgery in just under 2 weeks. I’ve to be there by a given time (not been given yet) and I will have to wait until my surgery time which is ok....
A nineteen year old man was accused in court today of dangerous driving, after speeding in a built up area causing damage to several parked cars and a lamppost The new Nisan electric car, flipped over...
I saw a colleague looking at my old college scarf hanging on the coat stand in the office. Me: "I know what you're thinking, its seen better days" Him: "What college did you study at ?" he asked with...
Isn't really my style but I just had to laugh when I heard this on the radio today. Apparently a guy was rushing around to get ready for the drive to get to work. After getting everything done in...
I had to have my mad, noisey, talkative, drove me crazy, boy put to sleep this morning... He seemed to become unwell suddenly...though I fear I didn't read the signals soon enough. The vet said kidney...
A perpetual criminal offender is brought to the court house for trial. However the judge is a duck wearing robes and a powdered wig . The criminal is incensed, he shouts out "I will not be judged by a...