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Seafarer1966

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Seafarer1966

Stars in Their Eyes

Simon goes on Stars in Their Eyes. Matthew Kelly notices he's in a wheelchair. Simon explains that he was in a terrible car crash with his uncle. His uncle died and Simon had to have his legs...
11:59 Thu 05th Feb 20091 answer, last by GEEMAC 12:00 Thu 05th Feb 2009
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Seafarer1966

Middle East Crisis

A new Middle East crisis erupted last night when Dubai TV announced it is refusing to broadcast episodes of The Flintstones, stating that Dubai people will not get the humour. They add, however, that...
11:53 Thu 05th Feb 20092 answers, last by devil99 10:19 Fri 06th Feb 2009
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Seafarer1966

Free Drinks

Three Irishmen in a bar trying to outdo each other. Jaysus and Holy Father in my local pub you buy three drinks and the third pint is free, says Mick. That's nowt, in my local boozer you buy one drink...
11:52 Thu 05th Feb 20091 answer, last by carlton23 09:52 Sat 07th Feb 2009
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Seafarer1966

Squatters Rights

My friend is about to get his house repossessed. He's desperate and willing to become a squatter to at least have somewhere to live. What are his 'squatters rights'?
15:46 Fri 23rd Jan 20093 answers, last by buildersmate 06:43 Sat 24th Jan 2009
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Seafarer1966

An Old One

Little boy is watching his mum having a bath. He asks her what those two big round things are on her chest. She tells him they're balloons, and when she dies they inflate and float her up to heaven. A...
15:50 Tue 13th Jan 20091 answer, last by Dilbert53 13:25 Wed 14th Jan 2009
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Seafarer1966

Royal Marines

Interesting to see that the Marines now have an ad on the telly seeking to recruit new people. This is the first time I reckon they have put out tv advertising. The number of body bags coming back...
14:32 Mon 05th Jan 20096 answers, last by BigEv 22:44 Tue 06th Jan 2009
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Seafarer1966

Blood Bank

Paddy is in a serious car crash. A week later he comes out of the coma. He asks the doc how bad it is. The doc tells Paddy there's good news and there's bad news. Paddy asks for the bad news first....
13:51 Mon 05th Jan 20091 answer, last by Steve.5 01:03 Tue 06th Jan 2009
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Seafarer1966

Volvo V70 Bio-Fuel

Thinking of buying a lpg Volvo (2001 model...2.4 petrol engine). I've read what reviews I can find about the lpg version of the V70 (it's a factory fitted lpg system) on the internet but would...
14:24 Thu 13th Nov 2008
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Seafarer1966

Scousers

In a recent survey 90% of Liverpool males said they enjoyed making love in the shower. The other 10% said they'd never been in prison.
15:29 Wed 29th Oct 2008
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Seafarer1966

Politically Incorrect Joke

Toy manufacturers have developed a talking muslim doll. The problem is that nobody knows what it says as noone has the nerve to pull the bloody string.
14:27 Mon 27th Oct 2008
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Seafarer1966

Annoying telephone call

Someone keeps ringing me and saying Stand and Deliver and Prince Charming down the phone at me. I've told him to ****** off but he's adamant.
15:48 Fri 24th Oct 20081 answer, last by velvet lady 16:49 Sat 25th Oct 2008
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Seafarer1966

Nurses in a morgue

Three nurses in a morgue discover a dead man lying on a slab with a magnificent erection. Not wanting to miss a good chance the first nurse hitches up her tunic and rides the dead man. Then the second...
15:46 Fri 24th Oct 20084 answers, last by velvet lady 16:50 Sat 25th Oct 2008
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Seafarer1966

Lingerie

A housewife decides to buy some crotchless panties to spice up her relationship with her husband. She sits opposite him one evening and opens her legs. He looks intently down at her and says: are you...
15:43 Fri 24th Oct 20081 answer, last by lesblue 15:44 Fri 24th Oct 2008
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Seafarer1966

Pussy Galore

Paddy says to Mick: I hear the Bond girl who played Pussy Galore has split her fanny open. Micks says: Honor Blackman? Paddy says: no...on a dildo.
15:40 Fri 24th Oct 20083 answers, last by velvet lady 16:50 Sat 25th Oct 2008
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Seafarer1966

Getting Divorced

A Jewish girl phones her mum to say she's divorcing her husband. The young woman explains it's because her husband always wants a**l sex. She moans to her mum that when she got married she had a nice...
14:22 Fri 27th Jun 20084 answers, last by Seafarer1966 14:33 Fri 27th Jun 2008
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Seafarer1966

Napoleonic wars

What was the biggest battle of the Napoleonic wars. It was in 1812 and 250,000 men took part but I don't know the actual name. I would assume it was in Russia as Tchaikovsky wrote the 1812 Overture.
16:49 Thu 26th Jun 20084 answers, last by StevenD 23:24 Sun 20th Jul 2008
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Seafarer1966

School Question

A teacher asks her pupils to compose a sentence with the word 'fascinate' in it. Various kids come up with sentences like I went to the zoo and it was fascinating etc. but nobody used a sentence...
16:25 Thu 26th Jun 20082 answers, last by ceejay123 09:50 Fri 27th Jun 2008
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Seafarer1966

Playing cards

A little lad walks into his sisters bedroom. There she is bent over the dressing table getting a good seeing to by her boyfriend. What are you doing sis? he asks. We're playing cards...now go...
14:33 Tue 24th Jun 2008
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Seafarer1966

Vindaloo

One half of a gay couple dies. The funeral director asks the surviving partner if there are any special requests. "Yes I want you to make a vindaloo curry out of him" says the bereaved. When asked why...
14:12 Tue 24th Jun 20081 answer, last by squarebear 14:12 Tue 24th Jun 2008

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