A man suggests to his wife, "Darling, shall we try swapping positions tonight." "That's a great idea," she replies. "Why don't you stand by the ironing board while I sit on the sofa and break wind."...
My friend was very disappointed with his stag party.
He asked for a night full of fit birds.
Apparently the 2018 Doncaster pigeon race wasn’t what he had in mind....
4 days of diarrhoea, tried Imodium worked for about 6 hours, it’s leaving me very drained. Just ate a plain dinner of chicken and tomato and it’s gone straight through me. How long before I seek...
Glossy paper goes back for drill part (6) Unwritten & alien why? 50 is in Barclays! (8,5) See the mast? "er" mind your head! (10) Mr Autry has food share for sporting event (3,10,4) Car part has money...
I was just enjoying a banana and four halves of toast, when I had to go into another room to fetch a pen from my handbag. When I came back my two pieces of toast had disappeared. I know I only ate two...
I tried walking onto an army base. I was stopped by a guard, who was only 5 foot 4 inches. “Sorry,” he said, “you’re not allowed on here.” I thought, “He’s a little territorial.”...
My Husband is annoyed because I've taken up dancing. He told me I was obsessed, dancing around the house all the time. He said that's all Ive got on my mind... I said. "There you go. Twisting it...
I told a local DJ that I had a large amount of rare vinyl. “Is there any chance that I could come round and have a look?” he asked. He didn’t look too impressed when I showed him my collection...