Contact after a divorce.

[wornout]

Are there any legal means to force my ex husband to spend more time with our 4 children, and if not why not? I can't just fail to go home and say "I'm too busy to look after you", so why can he? Why does the law allow non custodial parents to relinquish all responsibility for their own children? We are always saying "Children need fathers", so why are fathers not required by law to care for their own children?

[Pippa68]

I guess you can go to court and have a contact agreement arranged legally..but this wouldn't always work.

At the end of the day if an absent parent doesn't want to spend time with his/her children there is no court in the land who can force the issue ~ they are more concerned with financial issues...the only way an absent parent is legally obliged to care for their children is through maintenance.

However if your children want to spend more time with him they can say so, and a court order may be required for this. On the other hand, do you really want your children to spend time with a parent who isn't interested? I know it's hard as I am in the same situation :o(

[mrs_overall]

There is no way any court can force an absent parent to see his/her children. I have a couple of friends in the same boat and I know how hard it is for them. One friend has 2 girls (now 17 & 19) and their dad has had no contact (his choice) for 8 years, although he lives only a mile away. When a grandparent died and left the girls some money he soon came sniffing around but the girls told him where to go!
Just keep congratulating yourself on the good job you are doing with your kids and remember that it's HIS loss if he chooses not to see them often.

[Pippa68]

It is still very sad for the children, and something they can carry with them through their lives.

I wish the absent parent would think of this!

It also really annoys me that there are so many parents out there who would love contact with their kids ~ despite paying maintenance they are still denied contact :o(

[wornout]

I'm not sure it is only his loss if he doesn't see them. The children suffer dreadfully from having a mother who is too worn out with all the working, cooking, cleaning and childcare to be a good parent. I suffer from having no moments when I am not weighed down with responsibility. I am afraid that half of the next generation are being brought up by one exhausted parent, whilst they see the other parent living the single life.