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Jokes

Looking for a laugh? There are plenty of funny jokes being told on The AnswerBank, so sit back, relax and have a read.

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Rondy
One weekend, the husband is in the bathroom shaving when the kid he hired to mow his lawn, a local kid named Eric, comes in to pee. The husband slyly looks over and is shocked at how immensely... ...
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maggiebee
For years Dr. Benson had left his office and gone to Teddy's Bar, where Teddy would fix him a daiquiri laced with crushed pecans. One day, however, Teddy ran out of pecans; instead he substituted... ...
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Rondy
Gary: "Your new secretary is very sexy...."
Larry: "Thanks! She's actually a robot named Doreen....
If you squeeze her right breast, she takes dictation & if you squeeze her left breast, she types... ...
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maggiebee
I dig, You dig She digs, He digs We Dig, They Dig Not a long poem, but very deep.
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Rondy
I asked my friend the other day, "Who was that lady I saw you with last night?"
He replied, somewhat indignantly, "That was no eyesore, that was my wife!" ___ I’ve just woke up after a heavy night’s... ...
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Rondy
Joe and John were identical twins. Joe owned an old dilapidated boat and kept pretty much to himself. One day he rented out his boat to a group of out-of-towners who ended up sinking it. He spent... ...
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Rondy
Apparently exercising helps with decision making. It's true!
I went for a jog today and decided I'm never going again.
___

Dad: "How are your grades, son?"

Son: "They're underwater, Dad."

Dad: "What do... ...
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Rondy
Poets were on special offer in town today.
It was Byron get one free. ___ I said to my wife "seeing as it is valentines day lets try something from the karma sutra"....Ok she says "I'll have Chicken... ...
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emily1890
roses are red, and violets are brown   never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down
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Rondy
Mick got a job as a bus driver and on his first morning he just sat
at the depot waiting. The bus inspector came over to see what the
problem was. Mick said; " l'm waiting for the conductor! " The... ...
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piggynose
https://www.hmfckickback.co.uk/index.php?/topic/70375-why-rodney-marsh-only-got-a-few-caps-for-england-nhc/ ...
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Rondy
I met a nurse who took me to Italy.
Next thing I know, she has me arrested.
And that’s how I learned about Florence, night in jail. ___ I didn’t win any medals at the international astronomy quiz last... ...
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Rondy
I was disappointed with the new film called Fishing, although it had a great cast! ___ Woman sitting next to a man on a plane, every time he sneezes he wipes his cock, after the 3rd time the woman... ...
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maggiebee
I'm Hungary Maybe you should Czech the fridge I'm Russian to the kitchen Is there any Turkey? We have some but it's covered with a layer of Greece Ew, there is Norway you can eat that Please Finnish... ...
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Patsy33
I replaced my rooster with a duck. I now wake up at the quack of dawn..
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Rondy
As I was rushed into A&E, the paramedic shouted “BP is 148!”
I thought that’s not really the time to talk about petrol prices. ___ The seeds I sent for have germinated in the envelope.
It's left me... ...
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maggiebee
Tom gets on a plane in Edinburgh for a flight to New York. A very attractive young lady gets on the plane and sits right next to him. Wanting to start a conversation with her he asks “Business... ...
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Rondy
Just bought myself a book about reincarnation, it was £45 but I thought, *** you only live once! ___ The next person who asks me for pineapple juice, cranberry juice, lemonade and a slice of... ...
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Rondy
A blonde stormed up to the front desk of a library and said, "I have a complaint!"

"Yes, ma'am?"

"I borrowed a book last week and it was horrible!"

"What was wrong with it?"

"It had way too many... ...
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Chipchopper
But Armageddon out of here, said the last man on earth. Sorry 😆 

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