The Very Mention Of Thatchers Name.
News1 min ago
I asked my young nephew if he had seen Santa deliver his Christmas presents early this morning. He replied ‘No, it was too dark, but I heard what he said when he stubbed his toe on the foot of my...
The Sunday after Christmas, the Sunday School teacher told her students about an angel appearing to Joseph in a dream, warning him about danger to the baby Jesus and telling him how to escape from it....
A man visited a fortune teller and sat down in front of her crystal ball. "I see you are the father of two children," she said. "That's what you think," the man replied. "I'm the father of three...
Registration on the first day back at school Ahmed Al Sheriah? "Here." Mustafa Al Sheriah? "Here." Fatima El Bindiri? "Here." Ali Acmah Shabeeb? "Here." Ali Sun Al En? No answer… Ali Sun Al En? A...
When her husband arrived home early from work on Christmas Eve, the wife hurriedly opened the bedroom window and instructed her lover to jump out the window. ‘What, are you crazy?’ said her lover,...
Just seen a sign in Tesco's saying Turkey £29.
That's £300 cheaper than Thomas Cook....
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A teenage boy had just passed his driving test and inquired of his father as to when they could discuss his use of the car. His father said he'd make a deal with his son, "You bring your grades up...
If you could sacrifice one country to save the rest of the world from Covid, which country would you choose and why France.
A gent was on nude beach in Spain. Out of manners and to prevent sunburn, he kept his hat over his privates. A woman walked passed sniggering and said, "If you were gentleman, you'd lift your hat." He...
Upon returning rather late from an annual physical my wife was wondering how it went. I replied, ”Very routine. He asked if I am continuing to exercise regularly. I replied, ‘yes.’ And am I watching...
Grandma phoned out of the blue, inviting herself to stay with her daughter and family over the Christmas break. On arrival at her daughter’s home, her grandson greeted her excitedly announcing ‘Now...
Just been to hospital to have a mole removed from my ***. I won't be messing with one of them again.
On holiday recently in Spain I saw a sign that said 'English speaking Doctor'. I thought what a good idea, why don't we have them in our country?
To begin with:
Tampax have announced today that they will be replacing the cord on their tampons with a piece of tinsel. This will be for the Christmas period only....
Psychiatrist to patient – ‘I’m really pleased with the progress you’ve made recently.’
Patient to psychiatrist – ‘Last week I was Napoleon Bonaparte, now I’m a nobody and you call that progress?’...
If anyone is alone with no one to spend Christmas with, please let me know.
I need to borrow some chairs.................
The Tory Cabinet have got an emergency business meeting this afternoon. Apparently they will have four choices before them.
Camembert
Brie
Cheddar
Red Leicester...
A man realized he needed to purchase a hearing aid, but he felt unwilling to spend much money. "How much do they run?" he asked the clerk. "That depends," said the salesman. "They run from £2.00 to...
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