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Jokes

Looking for a laugh? There are plenty of funny jokes being told on The AnswerBank, so sit back, relax and have a read.

1 to 20 of 32

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Canary42

Job

My mate has quit his job at BMW.

He gave no indication he was leaving.

Patsy33

Raised By A Pack Of Hyenas..

I was raised by a pack of hyenas. Life was tough, food was scarce. But boy, did we laugh !

Canary42

Pet

"I've just been given a pet termite, I've called him Clint" "Why" "Because he eats wood" 😁

Patsy33

Road Worker ..

I lent a Roadworker £50 once, He has never '
Re Surfaced'

Patsy33

I Identify As A Supermarket..

I've decided I identify as a supermarket I've felt like this since I was lidl

Rondy

There's More

You have to feel sorry for Jonathan Ross, he's just spent two weeks in Powys, thinking that he'd booked for a fortnight in the French Capital City. ___ I'll tell you how good my Doctor is: He... ...

1ozzy

A Little Ditty..

.. for those that are ageing. https://www.facebook.com/craigio27/videos/1922930751435895/ ...

Patsy33

Went To See Doctor.

Went to my local health centre with suspected Lyme disease. The receptionist said, "The doctor will be with you in two ticks".

Patsy33

Buried Next To Each Other..

Napoleon and his wife Josephine are buried next to each other -
They're only a bone apart..

1ozzy

Now Why Didn't

I think of that🤔 https://ibb.co/HnMWz99 ...

Patsy33

R.i.p. Neighbour..

R.I.P. My neighbour Dave who told his wife he was just popping out for some sewing thread but spent the full day down the pub.
Gone but not for cotton!.

Patsy33

Moving House..

My family said they want to move to Wiltshire. I didnt want an argument so I decided to leave them to their own Devizes.....

Patsy33

SEVERE WEATHER WARNING!! The AA have warned that anyone travelling in icy conditions should take a shovel, blankets/sleeping bag, extra clothing (including scarf, hat and gloves), 24 hour supply... ...

Patsy33

A Favour..

I saw this homeless guy living in a tyre. I done him a favour and punctured it... He's now living in a flat.

gramps85

Story Of Life

A husband abd wife are celebrating their 50th wedding anniversary. That night the wife approached her husband wearing the exact same sexy negligee she had worn on her wedding night, and said to... ...

Rondy

Want Some More?

I Was in a movie today called 'Cling film'
Got a bit irritated when the director said 'You can go home now it's a wrap' ___ BREAKING NEWS:- MAN KILLED BY STEAMROLLER
Police are not sure what happened... ...

Patsy33

Terms Of Endearment?

When I call the wife "hun" it's not short for honey it's short for Attila...

Rondy

A Letter (You Know Who)

Dear Son, Just a few lines to let you know I'm still alive. I'm writing this letter slowly because I know you can't read fast. We are all doing very well. You won't recognise the house when you get... ...