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Chipchopper

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Patsy33

I Named..

I named my two children Lager and Guinness. My wife is Bitter....
20:21 Mon 27th Jan 202014 answers, last by Chipchopper 19:28 Tue 28th Jan 2020
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cannalover22

Will I Ever Be Able To Smoke Weed Again? And Whats Wrong With Me?

im 16 years old and diagnosed with OCD i took prozac from ages 12-15 at 15 i started smoking weed but i stopped couse my school almost cought me at 16 i started smoking again and it was great exept...
14:29 Tue 28th Jan 202018 answers, last by ScottPreot 11:53 Thu 22nd Oct 2020
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melv16

I Spend...

... most of my time waiting for buses. People say I live a sheltered life.......
12:19 Tue 28th Jan 20205 answers, last by Patsy33 20:41 Tue 28th Jan 2020
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Chipchopper

At The Library

I went to the library and asked the librarian behind the desk, where I could find the books on self help. She looked at me over her glasses and said: "If I was to tell you that, it would be defeating...
15:35 Mon 27th Jan 20205 answers, last by Chipchopper 12:07 Tue 28th Jan 2020
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Patsy33

My Mother

My Mother used to wash my hair in Lager. It wasn't until years later that I discovered I'd been Fostered......
19:53 Mon 27th Jan 20207 answers, last by Theland 10:04 Tue 28th Jan 2020
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Patsy33

Into Work..

I took my 8-year-old to the office on Take Your Kid to Work Day. As we were walking around, she starting crying and getting very cranky, so I asked her what was wrong. As my coworkers gathered round,...
13:33 Mon 27th Jan 20203 answers, last by Patsy33 15:19 Mon 27th Jan 2020
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Chipchopper

Make Sense

I went to my doctors surgery to get my DNA results. Dr: "This is very strange, its all back to front". Me: "AND"..........
10:43 Mon 27th Jan 20204 answers, last by Chipchopper 14:46 Mon 27th Jan 2020
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marval

I Bought

I bought a new computer at the weekend. As soon as I switched it on it started to play the piano and sing "Hometown Glory." It's a Dell....
18:39 Sun 26th Jan 202010 answers, last by fiction-factory 21:45 Sun 26th Jan 2020
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Spicerack

Last Night...

I went to a combined Chinese New Year and Burns do. A Chinese Burns Night. I wasn't going to go but they twisted my arm....
20:31 Sun 26th Jan 20205 answers, last by marval 00:20 Mon 27th Jan 2020
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Cloverjo

Paranormal

Do you believe this ludicrous description of Gloria Hunniford’s “guardian angel”? Surely no one would leave their passports and precious things with a stranger with no idea of where she lived or...
18:58 Sun 26th Jan 202045 answers, last by andy-hughes 12:59 Mon 27th Jan 2020
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Chipchopper

Heating Bi££

My landlord phoned me up and told me, he has to come round and discuss my astronomically high heating bill. So I said to him "My door is always open....
14:17 Sun 26th Jan 20204 answers, last by Chipchopper 19:10 Sun 26th Jan 2020
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Chipchopper

Sweet Music ?

A woman is in court, charged with beating her husband to death with his guitar collection. "First offender" the judge asked, as the accused steps up to the dock. No, she replies "first the Gibson and...
12:11 Sat 11th Jan 20209 answers, last by Ken4155 14:31 Sun 26th Jan 2020
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melv16

Garden Birdwatch. Rspb.

Have you done yours yet? Have anything unusual turn up?...
14:00 Sat 25th Jan 202012 answers, last by melv16 14:36 Sun 26th Jan 2020
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maggiebee

Burns

In the early hours of Saturday morning we had what we thought was an injured haggis brought in, but after listening to the wee thing shouting 'fair fa' your honest sonsie face....... Wee sleekit...
20:29 Fri 24th Jan 20205 answers, last by Old_Geezer 12:55 Sat 25th Jan 2020
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melv16

I've Had...

.... argument pie for my tea. It didn't agree with me......
21:01 Fri 24th Jan 20206 answers, last by melv16 21:28 Fri 24th Jan 2020
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maggiebee

Haha

I named my dog Rolex. He's my watchdog. Chiropractor arrested for back taxes. Why can't you trust an atom? Because they make verything up....
13:49 Fri 24th Jan 20204 answers, last by maggiebee 17:58 Fri 24th Jan 2020
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waterboatman

Good Morning Early Birds!

Friday. Nearly the weekend. I have nothing planned, but that has a way of changing at short notice. We are told no rain today, but my wee kindle says rain at 1000 and 1300. It's usually correct. We...
06:09 Fri 24th Jan 2020100 answers, last by murraymints 09:34 Fri 24th Jan 2020
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badhorsey

Replacing A Fence With A Hedge

My front garden faces onto a busy road and currently, there's a low wall with a fence in place. I'd like to replace this with a hedge to get a bit of privacy. the garden itself is paved. What would be...
17:50 Thu 23rd Jan 20207 answers, last by Vagus 19:30 Thu 23rd Jan 2020
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ToraToraTora

Tv Ad....

I saw this advert in a window that said: “Television for sale, £1, volume stuck on full.” I thought, “I can’t turn that down.”...
16:06 Thu 23rd Jan 20204 answers, last by marval 19:16 Thu 23rd Jan 2020
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Chipchopper

Reckless Driving

A nineteen year old man was accused in court today of dangerous driving, after speeding in a built up area causing damage to several parked cars and a lamppost The new Nisan electric car, flipped over...
16:54 Wed 22nd Jan 202014 answers, last by Chipchopper 19:11 Wed 22nd Jan 2020

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