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Chipchopper

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marval

I Am Really Happy

I am really happy with my new job fitting heating devices into electric kettles. I am in my element. The worst bit about buying a zebra is the check out. I was absolutely hopeless at geometry when I...
22:18 Tue 15th May 20182 answers, last by Patsy33 10:56 Wed 16th May 2018
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ethandron

Mayflies And Lacewings

We're usually inundated with both of these lovely insects but this year the lacewings were almost totally missing, and the mayflies, although appearing occasionally at the moment, are nowhere near the...
18:21 Tue 15th May 20186 answers, last by ethandron 17:20 Thu 17th May 2018
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waterboatman

Good Morning Early Birds!

Wednesday. Finally the electronics have decided to behave...sort of, They are working but everything is very slow. So if I vanish that's why. Overcast this morning. Yesterday was hot and sunny, I...
05:11 Wed 16th May 2018114 answers, last by murraymints 09:40 Wed 16th May 2018
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marval

Bbc News

BBC News An Elvis convention was abandoned after a small earthquake injured several impersonators. Witnesses were said to be ‘all shook up’....
18:37 Tue 15th May 20186 answers, last by Patsy33 19:39 Tue 15th May 2018
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Shaglene

Dog For Sale...............

A guy is driving around the back woods of Tennessee and he sees a sign in front of a broken down shanty-style house: 'Talking Dog For Sale 'He rings the bell and the owner appears and tells him the...
18:53 Tue 15th May 20185 answers, last by DTCwordfan 19:53 Tue 15th May 2018
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marval

Obsessed Doctor

There’s a doctor at my hospital who’s obsessed with Fawlty Towers. Every time he walks onto a ward he asks, “Is this man well?”...
16:55 Tue 15th May 20184 answers, last by Shaglene 19:08 Tue 15th May 2018
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Biccylova

Azalea Problem

I bought several azalea plants last autumn and all look well, except that the one to come into bud first still has no flowers and the buds that have started to open look white, but I did not buy a...
15:47 Tue 15th May 20189 answers, last by Biccylova 20:22 Tue 15th May 2018
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naomi24

Song About Blue Eyes

I heard a song on the radio the other day that I liked very much. I think it’s a fairly new song - at least I've not heard it before - but I can’t remember the title or the singer. The lyrics are...
12:09 Tue 15th May 201865 answers, last by douglas9401 22:46 Tue 15th May 2018
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mightymouse

Beth Chatto..........rip

Beth Chatto has passed away at the age of 94. One of the most inspirational gardeners and horticulturists of the last 50 years. Her garden in Essex is one of the most beautiful in the UK.
19:11 Mon 14th May 201812 answers, last by diddlydo 12:47 Wed 16th May 2018
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Voltage

Two Men !

Two men dressed in armour walk into a hotel and walk up to the receptionist. One asks 'A room for two knights please...
19:20 Mon 14th May 201819 answers, last by spathiphyllum 13:27 Tue 15th May 2018
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marval

I Was Arrested

I was arrested after smearing somebody’s luggage with Vaseline. The police dropped the case. I had a few mates round last night to watch the match. I’ve never been so frustrated in all my life!...
19:19 Sun 13th May 20183 answers, last by Chipchopper 20:01 Mon 14th May 2018
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Togo

Orange Tip Butterflies.

Has anyone else noticed the numbers of this lovely little butterfly about this year? I first noticed a few weeks ago that they were back in numbers. They used to be very common but I don't think I...
13:52 Sat 12th May 20189 answers, last by Tilly2 19:29 Mon 14th May 2018
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Gizmonster

My Missus Left Me Earlier ......

..... because of my fetish for fondling pasta. . . . . . . I'm feeling cannelloni right now .........
16:47 Mon 14th May 201816 answers, last by Bazile 14:33 Tue 15th May 2018
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spathiphyllum

The Park

At the park, walking the doggo Stranger: Your dog is unusual looking Me: Yeah, he's interbred... Duck: (Waddles up) I'll tell you who else is into bread...
12:17 Mon 14th May 201813 answers, last by DTCwordfan 21:16 Mon 14th May 2018
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1ozzy

Good Morning Early Everyone..

..Hope all AB'ers are well today ;-)
04:08 Mon 14th May 2018208 answers, last by ABSpareEditor 12:50 Mon 14th May 2018
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Voltage

Invisible!

They all mocked me when I told them one day I would learn the secret of invisibility. If only they could see me now!...
09:40 Sun 13th May 20189 answers, last by jno 23:50 Sun 13th May 2018
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Voltage

Brown Envelope !

Got a brown envelope through the door this morning that said ‘Do not bend!’ I thought "How the hell am I going to pick that up then?"...
16:17 Sat 12th May 20185 answers, last by Chipchopper 20:18 Sat 12th May 2018
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Chipchopper

Old Habbit

I used to have a soap addiction. but its okay, I'm clean now!...
12:21 Sat 12th May 201811 answers, last by DTCwordfan 20:06 Sat 12th May 2018
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whistonian

Hedge Trimmer

Can anyone recommend an heavy duty hedge trimmer ,it needs to be able to cut through 1/2 inch thick branches with ease.
14:40 Sat 12th May 20183 answers, last by whistonian 11:41 Sun 13th May 2018
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marval

I Was Shocked

I was shocked today when I was unable to complete my daily crossword puzzle. I was lost for words. I have an S&M kit. It is brand spanking new. Did you know, there is a secret Mr. Men character about...
18:47 Fri 11th May 20183 answers, last by Patsy33 13:02 Sat 12th May 2018

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