Chipchopper Member Profile in The AnswerBank

My Grandparents

My grandparents are called Pearl & Dean. They're just known to us as Grandma and Grandpa pa pa pa pa pa pa.........

On A Cowboys Tombstone..............

Written on a cowboys tombstone........... Five rules for men to follow for a happy life............. 1. It's important to have a woman who helps at home, cooks from time to time, cleans up and has a...

spathiphyllum

Why Do Cats Pur?

It's like a little, constant snore....

anthro-nerd

Long Lasting Summer Colour

What should I plant in the garden on a budget, for long lasting colour throughout the summer? I normally go for violas and then plant some bulbs in and around them... but the new puppy is a digger! So...

piggynose

Be Careful With Your Bottom Emisions, Or This Could Happen

Pilot forced to make emergency landing after passenger’s smelly farts causes fight The gassy passenger reportedly refused to stop farting (CEN) A pilot was forced to make an emergency landing after...

mallyh

It's Put A Smile On My Face

just recieved a letter to tell me i've won £300 in a competition !!!!!...

Johnny7seven

Lawn With Bald Patches

We had our garden turfed last summer. The grass has 95% survived in spite of our kitten using it as a lavatory. Spring is threatening to turn up and there is quite a large bald patch near the centre....

maggiebee

Saturday Smiles

‘Suicide is not the answer,’ I said to my friend. But he insisted it was, and we lost the quiz by one point.... I went to a restaurant last night. I ordered the chicken. I couldn’t eat it...

interele

Clematis

My clematis looks dead ! Is it likely that it's 'just sleeping' or is it actually a gonna ! Ta Mal...

Chipchopper

Farmers

Why do they always put the gate in the muddiest part of the field ?

Shaglene

Tree Surgeon..........

Paddy applying for a job as a tree surgeon is asked lots of technical questions which he answers expertly, he even gives the Latin names for the trees and tells of the cures for the diseases. The...

Electrochem

A Bad Round Of Golf

I played an awful round of golf the other day. Only hit two good balls, and that was when I trod on the rake near the bunker!...

Bazile

The Big Fromage

News is coming in of an explosion in a cheese factory in France De - Brie everywhere...

Bazile

Hayi .. Who ... Haa ..

Last night a Chinese guy came into my favourite bar and sat next to me I asked him if he knew Kung Fu or some other martial art. He said ''No - Why do you ask me that - Is it just because I’m...

Voltage

Baker Job!

I got a job at the local bakers making doughnuts. I jacked it in after a week i got fed up with the hole business...

Shaglene

The Clinic..........

I went to the sperm clinic earlier. The lady asked me if I'd like to masturbate in the cup. I said, "I'm good but I'm not ready to compete in a tournament yet.".............

Patsy33

In The Lab

Scientists have grown human vocal chords from stem cells in a lab. They say the results will speak for themselves....

Chipchopper

Callers!

A man came round and knocked on my door and asked for a small donation in aid of the local swimming pool. So I gave him a glass of water....

marval

Dear Milkman

Please send me details about cheap milk as I am stagnant. Dear milkman I have just had a baby, please leave another one. Please leave an extra pint of paralysed milk. Milk is needed for the baby....