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Chipchopper

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Patsy33

People

People in glass cake shops. Shouldn't throw scones...
19:09 Wed 15th Nov 201726 answers, last by Patsy33 22:02 Wed 15th Nov 2017
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Chipchopper

Dm Yesterday

unguis 4 letters. na__. excessive praise (8) ___t_e_y...
10:57 Wed 15th Nov 20174 answers, last by Chipchopper 11:00 Wed 15th Nov 2017
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Voltage

The Job Centre

Went to the job centre yesterday and asked if they had any furniture removal jobs? They told me to “Take a seat.”...
20:31 Mon 13th Nov 201714 answers, last by Hopkirk 16:58 Tue 14th Nov 2017
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Chipchopper

At The Doctors

I told the Dr, I've been feeling like a hose reel. Why is that he asked. Well, I said people keep using me and winding me up!...
19:47 Mon 13th Nov 20175 answers, last by Shaglene 16:32 Tue 14th Nov 2017
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Chipchopper

Utalising Autumn Leaves

Instead of blowing leaves from one place to another or putting them out to be collected, why not use them as a mulch around tender plants to protect them from cold winds and frost etc and allow them...
18:27 Mon 13th Nov 201711 answers, last by woofgang 21:59 Mon 13th Nov 2017
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Shaglene

Fish Restaurant.........

A man ordered Turbot at a swish fish restaurant. Halfway through the meal, the waiter came to the table and asked "How are you enjoying the Turbot ?" "Its Brill" the man replied. So sorry said the...
17:01 Mon 13th Nov 201711 answers, last by marval 23:08 Mon 13th Nov 2017
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Chipchopper

Shed Load...

I was walking the dog this morning, down a country lane, when a breakdown truck pulled up on the opposite side of the road. The driver wound down his window to ask for directions. He explained he was...
20:52 Sun 12th Nov 201723 answers, last by marval 23:06 Mon 13th Nov 2017
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Shaglene

Tap, Tap.................

Two men were walking home and decided to take a shortcut through the cemetery just for laughs. Right in the middle of the cemetery they were startled by a tap-tap-tapping noise coming from the misty...
17:19 Fri 10th Nov 20173 answers, last by Bazile 18:39 Fri 10th Nov 2017
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Biccylova

A Heap Of Ladybirds

I noticed what I thought was a large black slug in the corner of my utility room, but when I got on the step ladder to get it down I could see it was actually a big heap of ladybirds, I suppose they...
15:28 Thu 09th Nov 201713 answers, last by Biccylova 16:06 Fri 10th Nov 2017
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Patsy33

People Who

“People who use selfie sticks really need to have a good, long look at themselves.”...
10:35 Thu 09th Nov 20174 answers, last by Patsy33 13:54 Thu 09th Nov 2017
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Voltage

Abcdefghijk!!

Wife: "How would you describe me?" Husband: "ABCDEFGHIJK." Wife: "What does that mean?" Husband: "Adorable, beautiful, cute, delightful, elegant, fashionable, gorgeous, and hot." Wife: "Aw, thank you,...
16:45 Wed 08th Nov 20176 answers, last by Chipchopper 21:02 Wed 08th Nov 2017
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Patsy33

Bought

Having bought a vintage Rolls Royce, the budget didn’t cover a driver, so I spent all that money, and I’ve got nothing to chauffeur it....
08:04 Wed 08th Nov 201710 answers, last by Patsy33 13:12 Wed 08th Nov 2017
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Voltage

Insurance Salesmen!

I sat next to an insurance salesmen at the Robbie Williams gig last night. And through it all, he offered me protection......
19:20 Tue 07th Nov 20173 answers, last by zebo 12:03 Wed 08th Nov 2017
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horseshoes

Dahlias

Last year I had some new raised beds and decided to have one as a dahlia bed, and what a show I had from them! They were wonderful and flowered right up until the end of last month. I read up about...
17:19 Mon 06th Nov 201716 answers, last by Togo 15:21 Tue 07th Nov 2017
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balloney

No Leaves On Trees In Winter

When the trees shed the leaves in Autumn, which plants take the carbon emmitions from the air.
11:11 Sat 04th Nov 201716 answers, last by Togo 19:04 Sat 04th Nov 2017
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derekpara

Wooden Chopping Board.

I am thinking of making a kitchen chopping board out of a slab of Mahogany 1" thick. It would be used for preparing/cutting vegetables, meat, fish, poultry etc. My questions are: 1. Would I have to...
10:57 Fri 03rd Nov 201747 answers, last by 237SJ 00:04 Sat 04th Nov 2017
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Chipchopper

Pal O' Mine...

Was doing some chainsaw work on his property, stopped about half way thru to take a drink, and accidentally picked up the wrong bottle. Instead of water, he took a big gulp of chainsaw oil, by...
18:50 Thu 02nd Nov 201712 answers, last by Bazile 20:35 Thu 02nd Nov 2017
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mazie

Any Vegetable Growers Out There?

We are the process of clearing out an old wooded area and converting it into a Veg plot. I've never grown veg before apart from runner beans. I need help. I have a few questions if you don't mind.The...
14:43 Tue 31st Oct 201755 answers, last by mazie 20:06 Thu 02nd Nov 2017
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Jaidyn

Writing To Support The Continuation Of A Tree Protection Order

Hello - I am helping my son in logging support of a new TPO that the council has placed on several groups of trees which surround the local BP station in our city Five large trees at the back of the...
17:17 Wed 01st Nov 201717 answers, last by ladybirder 23:18 Fri 17th Nov 2017
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Voltage

At A Disco!

Husband takes his wife to a disco. There’s a guy on the dance floor dancing like a king –moonwalking, break dancing, head spins, the works. The wife turns to her husband and sighs: "You see that...
07:50 Wed 01st Nov 20174 answers, last by Arksided 13:48 Wed 01st Nov 2017

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