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Voltage

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chrissa1

Breaking: Eric Bristow Has Died.

Only 60years old. Terrible
22:02 Thu 05th Apr 201829 answers, last by fender62 17:42 Fri 06th Apr 2018
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gness

A Mystery For Amusing Answers Please....

I had a gastroscopy today... When I started to take off my shoes to climb....it's a climb for me....onto the bed I was told to keep them on. During the procedure my mind was mulling over all sorts of...
16:44 Thu 05th Apr 201888 answers, last by aelmpvw 12:08 Fri 06th Apr 2018
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Theland

My Personal Data Hacked

Oh dear! My personal data has been hacked! How traumatic! Now the whole world knows that I prefer Andrex to San Izal, cheese on toast to Dominos pizza, and that my hobby is dressing up in my wife's...
15:36 Thu 05th Apr 201823 answers, last by harperwhite 13:31 Wed 17th Jul 2019
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anotheoldgit

Isn't It Women Like These Who Do More Harm Than Good In Their Fight For Sexual Equality?

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-5581191/Mother-accuses-AA-sexism-letter-refers-mechanics-MEN.html...
12:12 Thu 05th Apr 201843 answers, last by hereIam 17:19 Thu 05th Apr 2018
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Voltage

Older Jimmy!

Teacher: If i gave you two apples, and when you get home your girlfriend gave you one, what would you have? Jimmy: Two apples and a smile on my face !!!...
11:20 Thu 05th Apr 201814 answers, last by Shaglene 19:00 Thu 05th Apr 2018
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phleb

Mediums, Psychics And Ghosts

Hi, How many of you believe in mediums and psychics? Do you believe ghosts exist? How does the Ouija Board work? How can a board with a few numbers and letters call a spirit? Is there life after...
02:03 Thu 05th Apr 2018133 answers, last by mibn2cweus 06:15 Wed 11th Apr 2018
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sunny-dave

In The Shower

This popped up (ooh matron) when I was searching for something else ... it looked lost in the Old Jokes Home so I thought I'd bring it out for a trot round the park ... How To Shower Like a Woman :...
10:54 Thu 05th Apr 20186 answers, last by spathiphyllum 11:18 Thu 05th Apr 2018
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spathiphyllum

What Size Ring

Finger is 6.5 cm and after looking online it says i should be a size ‘P’ but after looking elsewhere P is 56.3 MM... surly i need 65MM? Making me a W?...
09:18 Thu 05th Apr 201830 answers, last by JackBauer009 17:51 Sat 05th May 2018
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Voltage

My Mate!

My mate said ‘I’m going to chop off the bottom of your trouser leg and put it in a library’ I thought ‘That’s a turn-up for the books’...
09:20 Thu 05th Apr 20186 answers, last by Chipchopper 18:07 Thu 05th Apr 2018
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maggiebee

Ha Ha

What did the pirate say when he turned 80 years old? Aye matey. So what if I don’t know what Armageddon means? It’s not the end of the world. I’ve been told I’m condescending. (that means I...
23:23 Wed 04th Apr 20184 answers, last by Arksided 18:55 Thu 05th Apr 2018
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Voltage

Just Rang The Vet!

Called the vets this morning... "Hello, I need to make an appointment for my pet Ostrich" Vet "Ok what's the problem?" "He's holding his head to one side" Vet "Hmm, maybe neck's weak?" jeez! "Haven't...
08:35 Thu 05th Apr 201813 answers, last by Arksided 18:58 Thu 05th Apr 2018
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Voltage

Mothercare!!

I went into Mothercare this morning. I asked "Do you sell maternity dresses?" Assistant "Yes, sir. What bust?" "The bloody condom"...
20:57 Wed 04th Apr 20185 answers, last by Voltage 22:27 Wed 04th Apr 2018
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-SharonA-

Facebook Question

I have a friend on Facebook who keeps sharing me useless stuff and I have been able to block some of them by clicking the drop down menu and selecting to see less of the offending posts. But just...
14:22 Wed 04th Apr 201823 answers, last by Tilly2 22:22 Wed 04th Apr 2018
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spathiphyllum

Make Britain Great Again

Our NHS is bursting at the seams... Operations are being cancelled, people waiting nearly a day in A&E... Our roads are deteriorating to a point of no return, the pot hole crisis is getting savage and...
14:57 Wed 04th Apr 201876 answers, last by Neveracrossword 09:49 Thu 05th Apr 2018
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Arksided

R.i.p Ray Wilkins

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sport/sportsnews/article-5577773/Ray-Wilkins-dies-aged-61-hospital-suffering-heart-attack.html...
14:18 Wed 04th Apr 201817 answers, last by lankeela 12:00 Thu 05th Apr 2018
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ToraToraTora

Let's Do The Usual Dance......

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-london-43639183 I'll start, give the guy a medal, one less low life...........
11:57 Wed 04th Apr 2018170 answers, last by tonyav 22:56 Fri 06th Apr 2018
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Shaglene

Ed And Linda..............

Ed and Linda were in their mid 30's and met on a singles cruise and Ed fell head over heels for Linda. When they discovered they lived in the same city, only a few miles apart, Ed was ecstatic. He...
11:47 Wed 04th Apr 20186 answers, last by johnny.5 18:07 Wed 04th Apr 2018
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Voltage

Shakespeare.

What do you call a nervous Javelin thrower? Shakespeare....
21:13 Tue 03rd Apr 20187 answers, last by Voltage 21:41 Tue 03rd Apr 2018
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Voltage

Electric Shock?

i went to the the Bakers to buy some cakes and i got an electric shock? i stepped on a bun and a currant shot right up my leg....
11:54 Tue 03rd Apr 201814 answers, last by Voltage 21:40 Tue 03rd Apr 2018
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Shaglene

Russian Friends.......

Couple of Russian friends.....Ivanakerov and Yuribiggun
12:37 Tue 03rd Apr 20184 answers, last by Voltage 12:45 Tue 03rd Apr 2018

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