Crosswords58 mins ago
> Enter new password
~ Chicken
> Password must include a capital
~ Chickenkiev...
Because they have little anty-bodies.
A guy walks up and sees a jar of money in a bar. The Barman says you need to do 3 things to get all the money. 1. He points over to a big guy, 6'9" 280 lbs. You have to walk up to him and knock him...
I once took a stuffed dog to the Antiques Roadshow.
The chap said, "This is very rare, do you know what it would fetch if it was in good condition?"
I replied "Dunno, a few sticks i suppose?"...
Suspecting her husband of infidelity, the woman attempted to put an end to it by arousing his jealousy. "What would you say if I told you that I've been sleeping with your best friend?" she asked...
A big game hunter goes on safari with his wife and his mother-in-law. One morning, the wife wakes up to find her mother gone. Immediately, she awakens up her husband and they both set off to find the...
Pinched from a friend's post. Q: How many group members does it take to change light bulb ? 1 to change the light bulb and to post that the light bulb has been changed. 14 to share similar experiences...
I Know I should have posted this in Jokes , but I like the news section Bill Roach ....Ken Barlow , In Coronationd St ...has been Given a...... Knighthood . .........................................I...
My girlfriend went out a fortnight ago to get a pint of milk .
She hasn't returned yet .
I'm getting really worried now that it might have gone off...
was sitting in the lobby of a courthouse waiting for Prince Andrew's case to be heard. She recognised the young lady sitting next to her as Virginia Giuffre, and being the courteous woman she is she...
I went to use the phone in the village phone box.
However they have replaced the payphone with a defibrillator.
That's shocking....
While driving around yesterday I came across a dogging site. You know, where couples park and have sex while others watch. So I thought I'd stop and join in. It was ok, but unfortunately I failed my...
This chap dies and his widow calls the local paper to have a notice published. They ask her what she wants printed. She replies “Cohen Dead”. The tell her the minimum charge of £5 and for that she can...
On his way home from work a man noticed his tyres were going flat. So he nipped into his local petrol station to inflate the tyres. After he'd done that the lady forecourt attendant asked for £2....
I have five siblings . . . three sisters and two brothers. One night I was chatting with my mum about how she had changed as a mother from her first child to her last. She told me she really had...
I'm opening a gym next week called resolutions, its a gym for 2 weeks then it turns into a wine and burger bar for the next 50 weeks
A wife announced to a group of her friends that she had made her husband what he is today; a millionaire. Intrigued, one of her friends asked what he was before she met him? She replied – a...
When the husband finally died his wife put the usual death notice in the paper, but added that he died of gonorrhea. No sooner were the papers delivered then a good friend of the family phoned and...
Went to a Restaurant last week. Ordered the meat pie. When it came, started eating and found a massive worm. Called the waiter and said “There’s a massive worm in my meat pie!” Waiter pokes at it and...
A married couple on a tight budget were shopping in a supermarket. The husband picks up a crate of beer and places it in their shopping trolley. The wife remonstrates ‘Put that back, we only have...
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