R.I.P. My neighbour Dave who told his wife he was just popping out for some sewing thread but spent the full day down the pub. Gone but not for cotton!.
SEVERE WEATHER WARNING!! The AA have warned that anyone travelling in icy conditions should take a shovel, blankets/sleeping bag, extra clothing (including scarf, hat and gloves), 24 hour supply... ...
A husband abd wife are celebrating their 50th wedding anniversary. That night the wife approached her husband wearing the exact same sexy negligee she had worn on her wedding night, and said to... ...
I Was in a movie today called 'Cling film' Got a bit irritated when the director said 'You can go home now it's a wrap' ___ BREAKING NEWS:- MAN KILLED BY STEAMROLLER Police are not sure what happened... ...
Dear Son, Just a few lines to let you know I'm still alive. I'm writing this letter slowly because I know you can't read fast. We are all doing very well. You won't recognise the house when you get... ...
I was standing in the queue in Aldi earlier and a voice announced "Checkout no.5 please." I thought, I've seen better than her. ___ Did you hear about the cannibal spider that ate his uncle’s wife?... ...
"My husband and I went through the McDonald's driveway window and I gave the cashier a £5 note. Our total was £4.25, so I also handed her 25p. She said, 'you gave me too much money.' I said, 'Yes I... ...
I was raised by a herd of billy goats. We couldn't afford a nanny. ___ The total number of people who get words wrong, would cover an area the thighs of whales. ___ I went for a drink with some heavy... ...