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Jokes

Looking for a laugh? There are plenty of funny jokes being told on The AnswerBank, so sit back, relax and have a read.

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Patsy33
Napoleon and his wife Josephine are buried next to each other - 
They're only a bone apart..
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1ozzy
I think of thatπŸ€” https://ibb.co/HnMWz99 ...
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Patsy33
R.I.P. My neighbour Dave who told his wife he was just popping out for some sewing thread  but spent the full day down the pub. 
Gone but not for cotton!.
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Patsy33
My family said they want to move to Wiltshire. I didnt want an argument so I decided to leave them to their own Devizes.....
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Patsy33
SEVERE WEATHER WARNING!!   The AA have warned that anyone travelling in icy conditions should take a shovel, blankets/sleeping bag, extra clothing (including scarf, hat and gloves), 24 hour supply... ...
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Patsy33
I saw this homeless guy living in a tyre. I done him a favour and punctured it... He's now living in a flat.
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gramps85
A husband abd wife are celebrating their 50th wedding anniversary. That night the wife approached her husband wearing the exact same sexy negligee she had worn on her wedding night, and said to... ...
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Rondy
I Was in a movie today called 'Cling film'
Got a bit irritated when the director said 'You can go home now it's a wrap' ___ BREAKING NEWS:- MAN KILLED BY STEAMROLLER
Police are not sure what happened... ...
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Patsy33
When I call the wife "hun" it's not short for honey  it's short for Attila...
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Rondy
Dear Son, Just a few lines to let you know I'm still alive. I'm writing this letter slowly because I know you can't read fast. We are all doing very well. You won't recognise the house when you get... ...
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ToraToraTora
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XpCdX2g31ww   ...
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Patsy33
My wife stormed out of the house due to my obsession with the Weather Forcast,  I haven't the Foggiest where she's gone.
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piggynose
https://youtube.com/shorts/BjDoaY35qxU?si=tMP1cbN8ewp2m9jn Did this make you giggle? πŸ˜‚  ...
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Rondy
I was standing in the queue in Aldi earlier and a voice announced "Checkout no.5 please."
I thought, I've seen better than her. ___ Did you hear about the cannibal spider that ate his uncle’s wife?... ...
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Canary42
"My husband and I went through the McDonald's driveway window and I gave the cashier a £5 note. Our total was £4.25, so I also handed her 25p. She said, 'you gave me too much money.' I said, 'Yes I... ...
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Patsy33
I've just gone on the Adam Ant diet. It's dead easy; Don't Chew Ever πŸ‘
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Patsy33
I said to the Doctor, "When l move my leg it makes a Mooing noise". He replied,"It sounds like a Calf injury"
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Patsy33
I just saw a car being driven by a sheep in a  swimsuit...it was a lamb bikini.
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Canary42
If anyone can tell me how to repair a broken hinge, my door is always open. 
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Rondy
I was raised by a herd of billy goats.
We couldn't afford a nanny. ___ The total number of people who get words wrong, would cover an area the thighs of whales. ___ I went for a drink with some heavy... ...

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