There were these three sisters, Anne, Jan and Fanny. Anne and Jan went on a double date and their date said: "Wow, you both have really big feet." Anne said: "You shoukld see our Fanny's...they're... ...
A woman walks into a very crowded bar, and raising her arm to expose a hairy arm pit, she shouts 'Whose going to buy a lady a drink'. Everybody walked away and turned their heads. A drunk at the end... ...
A rich Arab's son said that he would like a train set, so dad went out and bought him Liverpool Street Station, Birmingham New Street Station and Liverpool's Lime Street Station. A little while... ...
Awful weather conditions today. I've just visited my 80 years old neighbour to ask her if she needed anything from the shops. Turns out that she does, so I've given her my list as well. No point in... ...
A woman asked the local baker to make a birthday cake and said that she wanted to have iced on the top I Suck C***ks. The baker wasn't too sure but decided to carry out the wishes of the... ...
The hardest part of a long distance relationship is persuading the wife to move away. ___ I once had a fling with a woman from my fencing club. It was a rather sworded affair. ___ I'm looking to buy an... ...
My grandad told everybody that the Titanic would sink, but nobody listened. He told everyone that it would hit an iceberg and many people would die. But nobody would listen, until they got fed up... ...
An old lady has a little win on the lottery and decides to get a tattoo of her favourite singer Elvis on the inside of her thigh. The tattooist goes to work and when he's finished asks the lady to... ...
"Dad, what does 'ignoramus' mean”? "I've no idea son”. “Probably some type of dinosaur”. ___ My American friend asked me if I had ever been abroad? I said: "No, I've always been a fella!" ___ Today my... ...
My therapist told me to stop inventing scenarios in my head. Which is odd, since I don't have a therapist. ___ I've just checked my home insurance cover policy and apparently, if my duvet is stolen... ...