Why Are So Many Brits So Anxious To Get...
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Found one of my pet fish sleeping at the bottom of the tank - I think it's a kipper!
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For the first time in 10 years I have a clean licence.
Pity it’s inside the washing machine.
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Thinking of... ...
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For the first time in 10 years I have a clean licence.
Pity it’s inside the washing machine.
___
Thinking of... ...
Two kids were deciding what game to play. One said, “Let’s play doctor.”
“Good idea,” said the other. “You operate, and I’ll sue.”
___ John looked up to see his mother-in-law walking toward the front... ...
“Good idea,” said the other. “You operate, and I’ll sue.”
___ John looked up to see his mother-in-law walking toward the front... ...
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A guy turned up for a guided walk with cans of Guinness strapped to his feet. Well, He said the leaflet said "stout footwear recommended"
A man approaches a member of staff at the supermarket and asks: - Excuse me madam, which is the best stuff for removing stains in the bathroom? Ammonia cleaner, came the sharp reply. Man: Sorry... ...
Q: Whatever happened to the bedbugs who fell in love?
A: They got married in the spring.
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Little Pete came home from the playground with a bloody nose, black eye, and torn clothing. It was obvious... ...
A: They got married in the spring.
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Little Pete came home from the playground with a bloody nose, black eye, and torn clothing. It was obvious... ...
In my job with a delivery company, I was getting directions to a customer's home. The woman very specifically said, "From the main road in the centre of town go two lights. Look for the post... ...
An old cowhand came riding into town on a hot, dry, dusty day. The local sheriff watched from his chair in front of the saloon as the cowboy wearily dismounted and tied his horse to the rail. The... ...
We were so poor growing up, my Mum sent me next door with a button, to ask them to sew a shirt on it.
There was a man named George who got a new job. His fellow employees always met for a round of golf every Saturday. They asked George to meet them at 10:00 Saturday morning. George replied that he... ...
Last night, my wife and her friends went to a Ladies Night Club: One of the girls wanted to impress the rest of us, so she pulled out a £10 note. When the male dancer came over to us, my friend... ...
Teacher: Why don't you brush your teeth? I can see what you had for breakfast this morning. Student: What did I have?
Teacher: Egg!
Student: You're wrong! That was yesterday!
___ Recently moved to a... ...
Teacher: Egg!
Student: You're wrong! That was yesterday!
___ Recently moved to a... ...
Shortly after the flight had taken off from Dublin to Boston a few weeks ago, the air stewardess announced that the catering department had made a terrible mistake. A big mix up meant that though... ...
Murphy showed up at Mass one Sunday and the priest almost fell down when he saw him. Murphy had never been seen in church in his life.
After Mass, the priest caught up with Murphy and said,... ...
After Mass, the priest caught up with Murphy and said,... ...
Noah's voyage diary: "Day 35: Unicorn pie is really delicious!"
Fred, a waiter who had worked in a small restaurant for 53 years, passed away one night. His wife, Lois was heartbroken without him; she spent several days contacting psychics, channelers, anyone... ...
A mathematician named Hall
Had a hexahedronic ball
And the cube of its weight
Times his ***, plus eight
Is his phone number, give him a call!
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I don’t get out much these days.
I have a two foot... ...
Had a hexahedronic ball
And the cube of its weight
Times his ***, plus eight
Is his phone number, give him a call!
___
I don’t get out much these days.
I have a two foot... ...
I have a friend who entertains her guests by quickly calculating statistical averages.
Not exactly the life of the party, but she means well.
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An investigative journalist should do a lot of... ...
Not exactly the life of the party, but she means well.
___
An investigative journalist should do a lot of... ...
Walking home from the pub last night I saw two old age pensioners holding hands. As they walked by I said to the old guy with a smile and a wink: "Have her home by ten now."
The elderly man stopped... ...
The elderly man stopped... ...
A brunette who really hated blondes was walking through the desert when she came across a magic lamp. After rubbing the lamp the genie told her that she got three wishes with one catch: All the... ...
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