Quizzes & Puzzles3 mins ago
A man and a woman are seated next to each other on a flight. They start eyeing each other, and both realize they want to do the same thing. He slips a condom out of his pocket, and she looks... ...
It is rumoured that Manchester United Football Club have failed to gain £143 million of sponsorship from a pet food company.
Evidently they couldn't live up to 'Winalot'
Evidently they couldn't live up to 'Winalot'
I’ve just found out that a few months ago the pound shop has been taken over by the 99p shop, it took a while for the penny to drop. ___ I was walking along the beach this morning singing puppet on... ...
If you feel like someone is watching you, you're not alone.
I went to the library in search of book about Native American tribes, so I asked the Liberian if she could help me find it, and she said "do you have the authors name ?" I said I think it was... ...
I really feel sorry for Parents these days. You have to be able to explain the birds and the bees ... the bees and the bees ... the birds and the birds ... the birds that used to be bees ... the... ...
I went out with a Prawn once . She wouldn't do anything to help other people She was very Shellfish .
GOODBYE MUM A young man shopping in a supermarket noticed a little old lady following him around. If he stopped, she stopped. Furthermore she kept staring at him. She finally overtook him at the... ...
I've cut down on my drinking. I now have one large dram before bed.
Last night l went to bed 6 times. ___ I got the job of senior director at old MacDonald's farm
I'm now the CiEiO. ___ Me: “Who is the... ...
Last night l went to bed 6 times. ___ I got the job of senior director at old MacDonald's farm
I'm now the CiEiO. ___ Me: “Who is the... ...
I've invented a thought-controlled air freshener. I realise it sounds daft at first but it makes scents if you think about it.
I went to McDonalds today, it was tipping down with rain.
He said what can I get you?
I said a Big Mac please. ___ Paddy goes into a John Lewis department store and asks the shopkeeper, "Excuse me... ...
He said what can I get you?
I said a Big Mac please. ___ Paddy goes into a John Lewis department store and asks the shopkeeper, "Excuse me... ...
My girlfriend keeps accusing me of cheating. She's starting to sound like my wife.
Q: Why did the chicken go to the gym ? A: To work on his pecks !
Nobody laughed. It turns out I'm not even remotely funny.
Just so everyone's clear, I'm going to put my glasses on.
I got really angry with my car navigation today. I even yelled at it and told it to "go to hell."
Twenty minutes later, it brought me in front of my mother-in-law’s house. ___ A farmer mate of mine... ...
Twenty minutes later, it brought me in front of my mother-in-law’s house. ___ A farmer mate of mine... ...
1. “I was going to sail around the globe in the world’s smallest ship but I bottled it.” – Mark Simmons
I understand how cars work, but aeroplanes are way over my head.
I think my wife's having an affair with my neighbour. He's so miserable lately.
People always seem surprised when I tell them I got my highly intricate tattoos in Barcelona. No one expects the Spanish ink precision.