Jokes Questions and Answers in The AnswerBank

On A Flight

A man and a woman are seated next to each other on a flight. They start eyeing each other, and both realize they want to do the same thing. He slips a condom out of his pocket, and she looks... ...

Canary42

Footie Joke

It is rumoured that Manchester United Football Club have failed to gain £143 million of sponsorship from a pet food company.
Evidently they couldn't live up to 'Winalot'

Rondy

I’ve just found out that a few months ago the pound shop has been taken over by the 99p shop, it took a while for the penny to drop. ___ I was walking along the beach this morning singing puppet on... ...

Canary42

If

If you feel like someone is watching you, you're not alone.

Chipchopper

At The Library

I went to the library in search of book about Native American tribes, so I asked the Liberian if she could help me find it, and she said "do you have the authors name ?" I said I think it was... ...

Canary42

Who Would Be A Parent ?

I really feel sorry for Parents these days. You have to be able to explain the birds and the bees ... the bees and the bees ... the birds and the birds ... the birds that used to be bees ... the... ...

Bazile

Prawn

I went out with a Prawn once . She wouldn't do anything to help other people She was very Shellfish .

maggiebee

Mum's The Word

GOODBYE MUM A young man shopping in a supermarket noticed a little old lady following him around. If he stopped, she stopped. Furthermore she kept staring at him. She finally overtook him at the... ...

Rondy

It's The Way I Tell Em.

I've cut down on my drinking. I now have one large dram before bed.
Last night l went to bed 6 times. ___ I got the job of senior director at old MacDonald's farm
I'm now the CiEiO. ___ Me: “Who is the... ...

Canary42

Invention

I've invented a thought-controlled air freshener. I realise it sounds daft at first but it makes scents if you think about it.

Rondy

A Few More

I went to McDonalds today, it was tipping down with rain.
He said what can I get you?
I said a Big Mac please. ___ Paddy goes into a John Lewis department store and asks the shopkeeper, "Excuse me... ...

Canary42

My Girlfriend . . . . . .

My girlfriend keeps accusing me of cheating. She's starting to sound like my wife.

Canary42

Why Did The Chicken Go To The Gym ?

Q: Why did the chicken go to the gym ? A: To work on his pecks !

Canary42

I Told A Joke On Zoom This Afternoon

Nobody laughed. It turns out I'm not even remotely funny.

Canary42

A Groaner

Just so everyone's clear, I'm going to put my glasses on.

Rondy

And There's More

I got really angry with my car navigation today. I even yelled at it and told it to "go to hell."
Twenty minutes later, it brought me in front of my mother-in-law’s house. ___ A farmer mate of mine... ...