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Chipchopper

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1ozzy

The Benefits Of Written Communication

My wife said she would appreciate her favourite flour for Valentines. Self-raising I asked?...
07:18 Thu 14th Feb 201911 answers, last by vulcan42 11:41 Fri 15th Feb 2019
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maggiebee

A Few Funnies

I'm dating a girl from the zoo I think she's a keeper I used to date an air stewardess from Helsinki. I dropped her off at work one day and she just vanished into Finnair. Thanks for explaining the...
21:57 Tue 12th Feb 20194 answers, last by murraymints 09:54 Wed 13th Feb 2019
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Chipchopper

Alarming Fall In Insect Numbers

I feel sure that the use in pesticides has a lot to do with it. I find this worrying, what are you're views and how can we address it ?...
18:35 Mon 11th Feb 201914 answers, last by andres 15:05 Tue 12th Feb 2019
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237SJ

Buenchico

Where is he? I haven't seen him posting for ages
20:38 Mon 11th Feb 201979 answers, last by tinkerbell23 23:24 Tue 12th Feb 2019
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Patsy33

Small Vehicle

. I went to the Dr and said, ” Whenever I drive my small vehicle I get chest pains.” He told me, “It’s because you have a wee kart...
18:47 Mon 11th Feb 20196 answers, last by Patsy33 19:05 Mon 11th Feb 2019
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tearinghair

Problem With Aubrietia

Every year I try to grow aubrietia (aubrieta? - I've found both spellings),but it never takes. It must be the soil, I suppose, though gardens on both sides and opposite have gorgeous trailing displays...
14:53 Sun 10th Feb 20195 answers, last by tearinghair 20:28 Mon 11th Feb 2019
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Patsy33

Obsession

My wife said she was leaving me because of my obsession with wearing different clothes every half an hour. I said, “Wait, I can change.”...
17:29 Mon 11th Feb 201911 answers, last by Patsy33 18:46 Mon 11th Feb 2019
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Chipchopper

Dexterous Robins

Are robins becoming more adaptable in their eating habits ? I have noticed them using the peanut and fat ball feeders much more readily, rather just going for crumbs that fall to the ground....
10:02 Mon 11th Feb 20197 answers, last by ladybirder 18:07 Mon 11th Feb 2019
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Ratty2E

Frog Spawn

Who else has frog spawn? We’ve been hearing froggy serenades for over a week and I noticed the first blob on Friday now there’s 5. Every year I think the daft things have gone too early and risk...
09:55 Mon 11th Feb 20193 answers, last by malagabob 08:11 Fri 15th Feb 2019
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Patsy33

A Woman's Hands.

You can tell a lot by a woman's hands. If they're tightly around your neck, then she's probably slightly upset..
21:03 Sun 10th Feb 20195 answers, last by Chipchopper 09:46 Mon 11th Feb 2019
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retrocop

The Doctor And Lion Story

Guy: 'Doctor, my girlfriend is pregnant but we always use protection and the condom never broke. How is it possible Doctor: 'Let me tell you a story. There was once a hunter who always carried a gun...
14:24 Sun 10th Feb 20194 answers, last by Chipchopper 20:21 Sun 10th Feb 2019
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Chipchopper

How Daft Can You Get ?

A novice gardener was rushed to hospital yesterday, after accidentally eating a poisonous daffodil bulb which she had thought was an onion. The lady who has not been named, is making a slow recovery...
13:00 Sun 10th Feb 201911 answers, last by marval 15:10 Sun 10th Feb 2019
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Patsy33

Darn Good Stuff That Curry!

Whenever I feel a bit unwell and manage to eat a curry, I always seem to feel lots better after. What is it I wonder? Maybe the spices have healing powers. :-)
13:01 Sun 10th Feb 201925 answers, last by Patsy33 16:28 Fri 15th Feb 2019
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Patsy33

Windy.

God, it's windy! I'd just like to thank Dave at number 26, for his gazebo. It looks lovely in my back garden...
14:15 Sat 09th Feb 20196 answers, last by Chipchopper 21:46 Sat 09th Feb 2019
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maggiebee

Scottish Jokes

A Glasgow woman goes to the dentist and settles down in the chair. “Comfy?” asks the dentist. “Govan,” she replies Glasgow is a very negative place. If Kanye was born in Glasgow he would have...
21:13 Fri 08th Feb 201915 answers, last by Chipchopper 13:56 Sat 09th Feb 2019
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Chipchopper

Gold

I bumped into an old friend in the pub, who I hadn't seen for a while. He explained to me that he had been on a gold prospecting holiday in the far east. "Japan ?" I asked. No he said "I prefer to use...
11:06 Fri 08th Feb 20195 answers, last by marval 18:26 Fri 08th Feb 2019
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Patsy33

Have You Heard?

Have you heard about the pregnant bed bug? She's going to have her baby in the spring
21:46 Thu 07th Feb 201911 answers, last by Patsy33 11:12 Fri 08th Feb 2019
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spathiphyllum

Poo On My Shoe Round Two

Originally people agreed that it is not correct for a gardener to pick up poop. Now people are saying that it is something to expect as part of the job. Which is it?...
17:58 Wed 06th Feb 201957 answers, last by gness 23:11 Wed 06th Feb 2019
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Chipchopper

An Irate Neighbor...

An angry neighbor came pounding on my door, shouting and screaming and asking me if I knew anything regarding the disappearance of clothing from her washing line. I was so shook up by this tirade of...
20:19 Wed 06th Feb 201913 answers, last by Patsy33 22:01 Wed 06th Feb 2019
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marval

I Bought

I bought a pair of shoes with a built-in iPod. But I could only walk extremely slowly. Then I realised I had it on shuffle....
17:37 Wed 06th Feb 20195 answers, last by Chipchopper 19:15 Wed 06th Feb 2019

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