Good Girl, Bad Girl Good girls say "thanks for a wonderful dinner"... Bad girls say, "what's for breakfast?" Good girls never go after another girl's man... Bad girls go after him AND his brother....
For those of you who are placing Christmas lights / decorations in your garden/ on railings...can you please avoid anything that has Blue flashing lights? Every time I come around the corner, I think...
A couple go to the solicitors to arrange a divorce. The solicitor points out that they are not youngsters and asks their age. "I'm 101 and my husband is 103." replies the woman. "Good grief" says the...
They are now talking about banning glitter this Christmas… Its been on the cards for years! _____________ When the Spanish Armada was approaching the Queen said to Drake, "Do you have sufficient...
I wonder: Why is divorce so expensive? Because it's worth it. What do you call a smart blonde? A golden retriever. What do lawyers use for birth control? Their personalities. What's the difference...
A man had hired a plumber to do some work in his house. He left him there to do the job whilst he went to work. When he returned he found the plumber was having a perverted sexual relationship with...
This woman is rushed to the hospital in critical condition. Her husband waits patiently in the waiting room. After a few minutes, the doctor comes out and asks her assistant for a wrench, which...
Six guys were playing poker when Smith loses £500 on a single hand, clutches his chest and drops dead at the table. Showing respect for their fallen pal, the other five complete their playing time...
Two young lads fighting in the school yard and the teacher stopped them saying, "Right Johnny, What are you fighting about" Johnny said "Please miss, he shoved a cracker up my dog's ***. Johnny the...
Every day a man drops 50p into a beggers hat on his way to work. Suddenly he changes this to 20p and some time later reduces it further to 10p. The beggar asks why this is and the man explains that...
Paddy buys a bath, but takes it back the next day complaining the water keeps running out. The manager asks "Did you buy a plug?" Paddy replies, "You didn't say it was electric!" ____________ Farmer...
I called the doctor surgery today to get an appointment. "How about ten tomorrow morning?" The receptionist asked. I told her I didn't need that many. One would do. __________ My dad was a master at...
A young lad asks his grandad if he kept anything from the war. His grandad says that he has a German dagger in the loft. "Wow," says the lad, "Anything else ?" "Yes there's a German helmet in the loft...
After Mr. O'Toole's barn burned down, he called the insurance agent to file a claim. He told the insurance man, "We had that barn insured for fifty thousand quid, and we need that money immediately!"...
We visited our newly married daughter, who was preparing her first Christmas dinner. I noticed the turkey thawing in the kitchen sink with a dish drainer over the bird. I asked why a drainer covered...
Three women, two younger and one senior citizen, were sitting naked in a sauna. Suddenly there is a beeping sound, the young woman pressed her forearm and the beeping stopped, the others looked at her...
Quiz of the week is tonight at 7pm. All easy questions and it only takes about 20 minutes.
Click below at 7pm(British time) to join in the fun.
https://stin.to/f0blx#...
I purchased a budgie, in a tall cage the other day. I'm paying weekly................yes, he's on higher perches. _________ Two ladies of the night, one says " My mouth tastes like the bottom of a...
I went to work yesterday and spent 8 hours locked in the toilet cubicle. At 5pm my boss walked in and shouted through the door, "What the hell are you doing?" I said, "This is my day in loo that you...
