Quizzes & Puzzles0 min ago
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A teenage boy had just passed his driving test and inquired of his father as to when they could discuss his use of the car. His father said he'd make a deal with his son, "You bring your grades up...
If you could sacrifice one country to save the rest of the world from Covid, which country would you choose and why France.
A gent was on nude beach in Spain. Out of manners and to prevent sunburn, he kept his hat over his privates. A woman walked passed sniggering and said, "If you were gentleman, you'd lift your hat." He...
Upon returning rather late from an annual physical my wife was wondering how it went. I replied, ”Very routine. He asked if I am continuing to exercise regularly. I replied, ‘yes.’ And am I watching...
Grandma phoned out of the blue, inviting herself to stay with her daughter and family over the Christmas break. On arrival at her daughter’s home, her grandson greeted her excitedly announcing ‘Now...
Just been to hospital to have a mole removed from my ***. I won't be messing with one of them again.
On holiday recently in Spain I saw a sign that said 'English speaking Doctor'. I thought what a good idea, why don't we have them in our country?
To begin with:
Tampax have announced today that they will be replacing the cord on their tampons with a piece of tinsel. This will be for the Christmas period only....
Psychiatrist to patient – ‘I’m really pleased with the progress you’ve made recently.’
Patient to psychiatrist – ‘Last week I was Napoleon Bonaparte, now I’m a nobody and you call that progress?’...
If anyone is alone with no one to spend Christmas with, please let me know.
I need to borrow some chairs.................
The Tory Cabinet have got an emergency business meeting this afternoon. Apparently they will have four choices before them.
Camembert
Brie
Cheddar
Red Leicester...
After the holidays and all those delightful, seasonal treats, a husband stepped on one of those penny scales that tells your fortune and weight. He drops in a coin and eagerly reads the results....
Me - ‘Boss, can I take tomorrow off work to go Christmas shopping with my wife?’
Boss – ‘Certainly not.’
Me – ‘Oh, thank you very much, I knew you’d understand.’...
A man realized he needed to purchase a hearing aid, but he felt unwilling to spend much money. "How much do they run?" he asked the clerk. "That depends," said the salesman. "They run from £2.00 to...
A husband read an article to his wife about how many words women use a day... 30,000 to a man's 15,000. The wife replied, "The reason has to be because we have to repeat everything to men... The...
One day Pinochio came to Gepetto with a problem. "Every time I have sex with my girlfriend, she gets splinters. What can I do about this?" "Have you tried sandpaper?" Pinocchio hadn't, so he went to...
A lady went to the salon to get a new hair style. While getting her hair done, she noticed a handsome man sitting quietly in the waiting area. She turns to the man and begins flirting with him. The...
Drunken man staggers in to a Catholic church and sits down in a confession box and says nothing. The bewildered priest coughs to attract his attention, but still the man says nothing. The priest then...
lookout for a gang of thieves who have been cutting down Christmas trees and selling them on the black market.
A spokes person for the forestry commission said "so far we're stumped"...
