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Jokes

Looking for a laugh? There are plenty of funny jokes being told on The AnswerBank, so sit back, relax and have a read.

2501 to 2514 of 2514

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Chipchopper
I got wind that the farmer in our village, was about to dig a borehole on his land, so he could Irongate his crops. As a gesture of good will, I decided to send him an oversize bucket. I later heard,...
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Khandro
From this morning's Telegraph: https://ibb.co/6PZQRL6...
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Rondy
A man and his wife were having an argument in bed. He finally jumped up and took a blanket to the couch. The next day the wife feeling bad about what happened decided to buy her husband a gift, and...
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Rondy
Sidney was not having a good day on the golf course. After he missed a 12-inch putt, his partner asked him what the problem was. "It's the wife," said Sid. "As you know, she's taken up golf, and since...
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Rondy
Q. Did you hear about the Irish newlyweds who sat up all night on their honeymoon waiting for their sexual relations to arrive?
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Rondy
Customer: "Do you have any cockroaches?" Clerk: "Yes we sell them to the fishermen." Customer: " I would like 20,000 of them." Clerk: "What would you want with 20,000 cockroaches?" Customer: "I'm...
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Rondy
"Push harder!" I shouted at my wife while she was in labour. "I hate you, I hate you more than I've ever hated anyone!" she screamed back at me. Bit harsh I thought… it wasn't my fault the car broke...
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maggiebee
Apparently the officers operating the armoured jet skis to turn back refugees in the English Channel will be trained to use loud hailers and to use the following phrases in multiple languages. "How...
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Ken4155
What's the difference between an enzyme and a hormone? You can't hear an enzyme....
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Rondy
Wanda's dishwasher breaks down so she calls a repairman. Since she has to go to work the next day, she tells him, "I'll leave the key under the mat. Fix the dishwasher, leave the bill on the counter,...
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Canary42
Lawyer: Writes a 25,000 word document and calls it a "brief." Banker: Lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining and wants it back the minute it begins to rain. Economist: Will know tomorrow why...
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Rondy
An archaeologist was digging in the Negev Desert in Israel and came upon a casket containing a mummy, a rather rare occurrence in Israel, to say the least. After examining it, he called Abe, the...
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Rondy
There once was pirate captain who, whenever it looked like a battle would be imminent would change into a red shirt. After observing this behaviour for a few months, one of the crew members asked him...
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maggiebee
"He who is without ovaries shall not make laws for those who do." Fallopians 5:12...
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Barsel
Do regular dogs see police dogs and think ''Oh no, it's the cops?''
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Rondy
My god! What happened to you?" the bartender asked Kelly as he hobbled in on a crutch, one arm in a cast. "I got in a tiff with Riley." "Riley? He's just a wee fellow," the barkeep said, surprised....
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Rondy
I'm sure my wife thinks I'm an athlete. She just said to me "You've been out three nights running."...
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Canary42
Number 1 It will soon be Autumn. Last year, I made a lot of money from sweeping up leaves locally. In fact, I was raking it in! Number 2 Shep, the talking sheepdog, having just finished his days work,...
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Canary42
We really should honour the person who invented the spade. It really was a ground-breaking invention.
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Rondy
Jimmie, an 80-year-old gentleman, retired to Florida after his wife of 58 years had passed away. He was quite alone in the world and longed for companionship again. One day, as he was walking through...

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