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Jokes

Looking for a laugh? There are plenty of funny jokes being told on The AnswerBank, so sit back, relax and have a read.

121 to 140 of 2514

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Patsy33

I'm Just On My Way..

I'm just on my way out to fix Cat
Stevens' caravan.
Awning has broken…
23:00 Sun 27th Oct 20242 answers, last by Ken4155 23:36 Sun 27th Oct 2024
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Patsy33

Turkish Bath.

I was talking to my neighbour today, he said, "I went to one of those Turkish baths on holiday...They shaved with razor-sharp blade below the neck line, snipped ear & nose hairs, waxed chest hairs... ...
17:37 Sat 26th Oct 20241 answer, last by Chipchopper 11:09 Sun 27th Oct 2024
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kinnairdie

Letters - Eyjnrooa. Actress 2,6. Any Ideas

ANAGRAM    - EYJNROOA,                 Actress -         2.6  any ideas?
14:34 Sat 26th Oct 20246 answers, last by elliemay1 15:29 Sat 26th Oct 2024
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Canary42

Lipstick

Apparently Julie Andrews will no longer be endorsing Rimmel Vibrant Shades lipstick, as she claims it breaks too easily, and makes her breath smell. In a statement, she said: "This super colour... ...
22:25 Fri 25th Oct 20242 answers, last by Patsy33 15:14 Sat 26th Oct 2024
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Clone

It Beyong A Joke

A man hovers above a man on floor,  pointing at him he says  ''You won't ever threaten me again will ya'' A bystander shouts 'the MP for Runcorn *$&^*ing smacking someone on the floor'     There is a... ...
14:02 Sat 26th Oct 202413 answers, last by DDIL 14:55 Sat 26th Oct 2024
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Rondy

Some More Gems.

I got talked into buying a pre Cremation package today, the upside is if I die in a fire I get half the money back. ___ Someone has stolen a broken set of scales which I was hoping to fix.
They'll... ...
14:59 Fri 25th Oct 20244 answers, last by Rondy 12:50 Sat 26th Oct 2024
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Chipchopper

Loo Cleaner

I was looking for a good loo cleaner, so I asked a lady at the supermarket, "which is the best stuff for cleaning the loo" she said "ammonia cleaner" I said "sorry I thought you worked... ...
07:47 Tue 22nd Oct 20243 answers, last by Chipchopper 06:55 Thu 24th Oct 2024
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Dagman

Halloween

A joke for Halloween, courtesy of the great Barry Cryer, A skeleton walked into a pub and ordered a pint and a mop!
14:53 Tue 22nd Oct 20242 answers, last by Dagman 16:32 Wed 23rd Oct 2024
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Bazile

Sorry Govenor

An out-of-town homeless man comes to a nice looking house hat in hand, and upon answering the doorbell, the homeowner asks what the itinerant wants.

The shabily dressed person say "Well... I... ...
13:42 Tue 22nd Oct 20241 answer, last by Arksided 14:01 Tue 22nd Oct 2024
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Rondy

It's The Way I Tell Em.

A thief in the butcher shop got charged with chop lifting.
The Judge said he mutton do it again. ___ My wife is doing an experiment. She's wearing a Man Utd shirt for a week to get peoples reactions.... ...
14:18 Mon 21st Oct 20242 answers, last by bookbinder 14:34 Mon 21st Oct 2024
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Rondy

They Keep Coming

I asked my mate what part of the USA his wife was from.
He replied 'Alaska'...
Well - to be honest I thought he would know! ___ Paddy finds a sandwich with two wires sticking out of it. He phones the... ...
13:49 Sun 20th Oct 20243 answers, last by Modster 07:58 Mon 21st Oct 2024
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Canary42

Winner On Paper

A mate of mine has just won the Phillipines National Origami championship. He's a Manila folder.  
21:50 Fri 18th Oct 20244 answers, last by maggiebee 22:14 Fri 18th Oct 2024
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fourteen85

Rugby Fans

Reports have come through that Police have stopped and arrested 50 Hull KR fans on the M62 with flares as they were on their way to the Grand Final v Wigan at Old Trafford yesterday. It turned out... ...
07:34 Sun 13th Oct 20241 answer, last by Old_Geezer 07:48 Sun 13th Oct 2024
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Rondy

And Here's Some More For You.

Two tapeworms in a high ranking army officer.
One says to the other "What's up mate, you look really down?"
The other replies "Oh, nothing really, just life in General" ___ We've started going to a... ...
15:16 Sat 12th Oct 20244 answers, last by Rondy 16:08 Sat 12th Oct 2024
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maggiebee

Singers

I have a friend who writes songs about sewing machines. He's a singer/songwriter Or sew it seams
09:59 Tue 08th Oct 20249 answers, last by Chipchopper 05:38 Sat 12th Oct 2024
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Canary42

Canine Capers

Dogs bark an average of 787 times per day. Well, that's a ruff estimate 😀
16:59 Fri 11th Oct 20246 answers, last by Canary42 17:26 Fri 11th Oct 2024
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Rondy

Want Some More?

I've Just had a sage and onion enema.
It's knocked the stuffing out of me. ___ Cucumbers are really good for memory............
Someone stuck one up my mates *** 30 years ago and he still remembers... ...
14:28 Wed 09th Oct 20243 answers, last by Ken4155 06:57 Thu 10th Oct 2024
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Rondy

Here's Some More.

The cheeky kids next door challenged me to a water fight, I said,”Give me 5 minutes and I’ll be ready as soon as the kettles boiled.” ___ For a minute I thought the job centre was trying to appeal... ...
15:28 Thu 03rd Oct 20243 answers, last by netherfield 07:17 Wed 09th Oct 2024
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maggiebee

Smiles

They’re a funny lot, my family. Before he died my grandad covered his back with lard, but after that he went downhill very quickly. My sister had hay fever and then she developed diabetes. I did my... ...
10:29 Fri 04th Oct 20244 answers, last by Patsy33 12:22 Fri 04th Oct 2024
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Patsy33

A Comb

I went into Boots the Chemist this morning and asked for a comb, the assistant said: "Do you want a steel one?"   I said: "No I'm happy to pay for it". 
13:28 Sat 28th Sep 20244 answers, last by Ken4155 07:33 Sun 29th Sep 2024

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