ChatterBank2 mins ago
A van, carrying a load of Vick's sinex nasal spray, turned over on the motorway yesterday and shed its load. Amazingly the road was free of congestion for eight hours! 😄
I once gave Stevie Wonder a cheese grater for his birthday. He said it was the most violent book he had ever read.
These bear hunters were sitting around the cabin the night before the hunt bragging about their past hunts.
The cabin boy was listening and went over and said "you guys make it seem pretty hard on... ...
The cabin boy was listening and went over and said "you guys make it seem pretty hard on... ...
Sad news. The man who devised the M&S food ads has died…
He will be cremated tomorrow in an applewood and mesquite fire with blistered marshmallows and charred Madagascan vanilla pods! This is not... ...
He will be cremated tomorrow in an applewood and mesquite fire with blistered marshmallows and charred Madagascan vanilla pods! This is not... ...
A husband and wife had a big argument. Frustrated and fed up, the wife called up her mum and said, "We fought again, I can't do this anymore. I am coming to live with you."
Mum said, "No darling,... ...
Mum said, "No darling,... ...
I bought a wig for £1 today It was a small price toupee
So I was in the chemist lab and I said to the assistant, “What gets rid of germs?”
She said, "Ammonia cleaner."
I said, "Oh sorry, I thought you worked here...” ___ Man in jewellers: I need a potato... ...
She said, "Ammonia cleaner."
I said, "Oh sorry, I thought you worked here...” ___ Man in jewellers: I need a potato... ...
Just had a Jeovah witness man at my house, he rang the bell, I answered the Door I invited him in, I asked if wanted a drink, he just sat there never said a word, I said OK what's next, he replied......
Why did the homeowner not sue when he fell in the driveway?
It was his own asphalt!
___ I found 5 ants in my front room yesterday today found 5 more apparently they are now tenants. ___
It was his own asphalt!
___ I found 5 ants in my front room yesterday today found 5 more apparently they are now tenants. ___
I threw a ball for my dog today ! He looks great in a tuxedo
The clerk asked me, "Cash, cheque or card?" after ringing up my purchase. As I fumbled through my wallet, she noticed a remote control for a television set in my purse. "Do you always carry your TV... ...
My car broke down today. So I looked under the bonnet and saw a bat sitting on the engine.
He said: "Hello sir, you are very handsome and a very smart dresser too."
I could see the problem straight... ...
He said: "Hello sir, you are very handsome and a very smart dresser too."
I could see the problem straight... ...
As I was sitting around, pondering the problems of the world, I realized that at my age I don't really give a rat's ass anymore. If walking is good for your health, the postman would be immortal.... ...
The prison officer tells the warden, “Sir, I have to report that ten prisoners have broken out.” The alarmed warden says, “Blow the whistles, sound the alarms, alert the police!" With a surprised... ...
There is a new study out about women. I thought these results were pretty interesting. 85% of women think their ass has grown too big since getting married. 10% of women think their ass is just as... ...
I am comforted by porcelain gnomes. In a way they're like my garden angels.
___ The UK economy is so bad that :If the bank returns your cheque marked "Insufficient Funds," you call them and ask if... ...
___ The UK economy is so bad that :If the bank returns your cheque marked "Insufficient Funds," you call them and ask if... ...
A man tried to sell me a magazine on the High Street.
Bit annoying but not really a Big Issue.
___
I’ve just witnessed a flying saucer.
Now my wife’s throwing the cup as well!
___
I want to know why my... ...
Bit annoying but not really a Big Issue.
___
I’ve just witnessed a flying saucer.
Now my wife’s throwing the cup as well!
___
I want to know why my... ...
My belly-dancing teacher was struggling to fit me in for a lesson this week but luckily she said she could jiggle a few things around!
The Santa Claus at the mall was very surprised when a young lady about twenty years old walked up and sat on his lap. Santa doesn't usually take requests from adults, but she smiled very nicely at... ...
A man arrives at the repair shop to pick-up his watch.
Clerk: "I haven't finished repairing it yet. just give me a few more minutes.
Man: "Sure, no problem."
The man goes and stands right next to the... ...
Clerk: "I haven't finished repairing it yet. just give me a few more minutes.
Man: "Sure, no problem."
The man goes and stands right next to the... ...
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