A man walked into a bar in Chester. The Landlord says, " It's only 10am, were not open until 11am" The man looks crestfallen, even unhappy. " Can I rest my feet, and sit in the corner, until you...
One beautiful December evening Pedro and his girlfriend Rosita were sitting by the side of the ocean. It was a romantic full moon, when Pedro said, "Hey, mamacita, let's do Weeweechu." Oh no, not now,...
Two Nuns travelling in a car when a vampire jumps on the bonnet. One of the Nuns say's "Quick. Show him your cross!" The other Nun leans out of the window and shouts "GET OFF THE BLOODY BONNET YOU...
Tonight's fun quiz starts at 7pm. Nothing to pay and nothing to download. All easy questions too. It only takes about 30 minutes. Just follow the link below to join in the fun. https://stin.to/f0blx#...
The Queen and Dolly Parton die on the same day and both go up to the Pearly Gates to find out whether they'll be admitted to Heaven. Unfortunately, there's only one space available, so St. Peter has...
An Essex girl is involved in a nasty car crash and is trapped and bleeding. The paramedics soon arrive on site. Medic: "It's OK I'm a paramedic and I'm going to ask you some questions?" Essex Girl:...
Two Irish brothers Mick and Paddy have made a promise to their uncle. Well they had an Uncle Seamus who was a seafaring gent all his liife and a while before he passed away, he made the boys promise...
A kid comes home from school and says to his mom, "Mum I've got a problem." She says "Tell me." He tells her that the boys at school are using 2 words he doesn't understand. She asks him what they...
A woman sought the advice of a sex therapist, confiding that she found it increasingly difficult to find a man who could satisfy her, and that it was very wearisome getting in and out of all these...
An Englishman (other nationalities are available) walking through the bush in Africa came across a clearing and saw a huge dead elephant, weighing probably 30 tonnes, with a 2 foot pygmy next to it....
Mick was in court for a double murder and the judge said, 'You are charged with beating your wife to death with a spanner.' A voice at the back of the courtroom yelled out, 'You ***!' The judge...
Two chaps in the pub and one says "The wife should be on the plane by now."
His mate says "Nice, where is she going?"
The first says "Nowhere, she's fitting a new kitchen door."...
An old man joins a very exclusive nudist colony. On his first day there he takes off his clothes and starts to wander around. A gorgeous petite blonde walks by, and the man immediately gets an...
Three young lads were taking and one said "I wish I had some bags of gold, its so valuable I could buy a Ferrari." The second said "No, you need platinum its worth more, you could buy a Maserati with...
Four men are on a golfing weekend. One says "I've had to promise to erect some garden decking to come on this trip." Another says "I've promised the wife I'd paint the garage door when I get back."...
A bloke bursting for the loo uses the ladies in a posh hotel. He sits down and notices four buttons, WW, WA, PP and ATR. Curious he presses WW and is gently sprayed with warm water, then WA and a...
A pair of ladies who have lost their amateur status are looking for business one night when an officer of the law approaches. One says to her mate "I'll get us out of this - Hi officer, do you want us...
My wife put a lot of weight on during the Lockdowns. Went out for the first time in ages for a meal and the waiter said "How did you enjoy your meal?" "Beautiful," my wife answered. "I ate every bit...
A husband and wife are shopping in Tesco. (other shops are available) The husband puts 12 cans of Stella in the trolley, the wife takes them out saying "They cost £10, they're too expensive!" Further...
A young mother answers the phone. "Hello, is that you mum?" "Yes." "I'm so glad you rang, I'm having an awful day, the washing machine broke, I've piles of ironing, I need to get the shopping, the...
