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magicmick

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marval

Tree Sex

Tarzan had lived alone in his jungle kingdom for thirty years with only apes for company and suitably-shaped holes in trees for sex. Jane, a reporter, came to Africa in search of this legendary...
23:00 Mon 06th Aug 20126 answers, last by Starbuckone 12:16 Tue 07th Aug 2012
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dotty.

My cat's not come in this morning....

not Trisha, Lizzie, she's never normally out over night but I hadn't realised she was out when i locked up. She's not used to being out all night and so it's unusual she's not just around. I think...
09:55 Mon 06th Aug 201224 answers, last by dotty. 23:59 Mon 06th Aug 2012
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Jemisa

The Ring...(Adults Only)

One day, a man wakes up with a red ring around his penis. He can’t work out what it is, so he goes to the doctor. The doctor hands him a tube of cream. "Here. Put this on and the...
23:55 Sat 04th Aug 201210 answers, last by Starbuckone 22:57 Sun 05th Aug 2012
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magicmick

Love those Scots

A Scotsman and his wife walked passed a swankey new restaurant. His wife said "did you smell that food" "Incredible" Being a kind hearted Scotsman, he thought "what the heck...
23:59 Fri 03rd Aug 201220 answers, last by DTcrosswordfan 18:05 Sat 04th Aug 2012
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Jemisa

Church bells...

Church Bells ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ On hearing that her elderly grandfather had just passed away, Katie went straight to her grandparent's house to see her 95 year old grandmother and comfort...
23:18 Fri 03rd Aug 201210 answers, last by marval 14:46 Sat 04th Aug 2012
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Coldicote

Nuisance Phone Calls

I guess many of us have had them and dialled 1471 to try and find out who called. “You were called at (..time..) today. We do not have the caller’s number to return the call.”...
23:01 Fri 03rd Aug 201218 answers, last by futritcat 22:57 Sat 04th Aug 2012
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Smowball

A guy says to his doctor......

A guy says to his doctor, " I've hurt my willy in a surfing accident". Doc says "Did you fall of your board?" "No", he says. " I had to quickly shut my laptop when...
14:30 Fri 03rd Aug 20125 answers, last by gsr600 19:12 Fri 03rd Aug 2012
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Jemisa

Jack & Jill...

Jack was going to be married to Jill, so his father sat him down for a little fireside chat. He says Jack, let me tell you something. On my wedding night in our honeymoon suite, I took off my pants...
11:05 Thu 02nd Aug 201214 answers, last by Starbuckone 21:53 Thu 02nd Aug 2012
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Smowball

the leaflet....

I had a leaflet come through my letterbox saying: " If you are an alcoholic then please call this number" It was from the bl00dy local off license!...
08:07 Thu 02nd Aug 20126 answers, last by franciscabrteon5 17:18 Fri 10th Jan 2014
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AceofClubs

Mother's Sayings

When we used to have a quick wash my mother used to say "A cat lick and a promise".Is this a Midland saying?She was actually from Derbyshire.
10:51 Tue 31st Jul 201218 answers, last by littleja 02:54 Thu 09th Aug 2012
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Jemisa

Promises...

A woman recently lost her husband. She had him cremated and brought his ashes home. Picking up the urn that he was in, she poured him out on the table.. Then, while tracing her fingers in the ashes,...
22:59 Mon 30th Jul 201212 answers, last by notafish 12:17 Tue 31st Jul 2012
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marval

Sex Therapist

A woman sought the advice of a sex therapist, confiding that she found it increasingly difficult to find a man who could satisfy her, and that it was very wearisome getting in and out of all these...
16:36 Mon 30th Jul 20125 answers, last by Starbuckone 19:54 Tue 31st Jul 2012
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hobnail

Sunday Express £1000 X Word

Help please, i Down, A Large greyish-brown American web footed bird with a black neck and head and a white throat patch, 6 and 5, C?N??A ??O??...
19:11 Sun 29th Jul 20125 answers, last by hobnail 19:31 Sun 29th Jul 2012
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hideaway

sun times 4496

7d 9 letters it's a pain to try and go round small bay 14a 10 letters ran over problem with doctor about a small change to pitch s- - -a- - -e- 10a 10 letters broken leg bound-journo went clubbing 13d...
18:49 Sun 29th Jul 201210 answers, last by magicmick 19:06 Sun 29th Jul 2012
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lslowry

should equestrian events be part of the Olympic Games?

Saw the dressage event today where all the effort was done by the horse with just someone in a top hat sat astride. It's the same with show jumping, the horse doing the business.
18:49 Sun 29th Jul 201232 answers, last by HowardKennitby 22:24 Sun 29th Jul 2012
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magicmick

Turkey Trot

The wife and I were having a ride out in the country when we came across a turkey farm, as we were going by I said "hang on I'm sure that turkey had three legs" so I pulled in by the fence...
00:22 Sun 29th Jul 20126 answers, last by marval 17:40 Sun 29th Jul 2012
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sidkid

A chemist

walks back into his shop after a short break and sees a man leaning against the wall. "What's wrong with him?" he asks his assistant "He came in for cough syrup but I couldn't find any...
00:03 Sun 29th Jul 20126 answers, last by marval 17:39 Sun 29th Jul 2012
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Jemisa

Modern Tech....

Modern Technology~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ I was visiting my son and daughter-in-law last night when I asked if I could borrow a newspaper. 'This is the 21st century, mother,' he said. 'We don't waste...
23:09 Sat 28th Jul 20128 answers, last by excelsior-1 11:35 Sun 29th Jul 2012
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askyourgran

Anyone a fan of Antiques Road show ..... David Barby died recently

He was a very knowlegable about antiques, I enjoyed watching him on the Antiques Road Trip http://www.huffington...tm_hp_ref=mostpopular...
23:32 Sat 28th Jul 201214 answers, last by naomi24 09:23 Sun 29th Jul 2012
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marval

When I

Folks were having a drink at a local pub when this majestic looking, immaculately dressed man walked in with two men who appeared to be his body guards. He shouted, "Smile everyone. When I smile...
19:09 Sat 28th Jul 20124 answers, last by magicmick 23:21 Sat 28th Jul 2012

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