Quizzes & Puzzles2 mins ago
Just so everyone's clear, I'm going to put my glasses on.
I got really angry with my car navigation today. I even yelled at it and told it to "go to hell."
Twenty minutes later, it brought me in front of my mother-in-law’s house. ___ A farmer mate of mine... ...
Twenty minutes later, it brought me in front of my mother-in-law’s house. ___ A farmer mate of mine... ...
1. “I was going to sail around the globe in the world’s smallest ship but I bottled it.” – Mark Simmons
I understand how cars work, but aeroplanes are way over my head.
I think my wife's having an affair with my neighbour. He's so miserable lately.
People always seem surprised when I tell them I got my highly intricate tattoos in Barcelona. No one expects the Spanish ink precision.
While browsing my local bookshop, I came across a book called How to Solve 50% of Your Problems. So I bought two.
The owner of the tailor's shop kept hovering over me while I was browsing, so I asked him to leave me alone. He said, "Fine, suit yourself."
Yesterday was National Awareness Day....
I didn't know that. ___ I found a Load of Zips and Buttons Dumped on my front lawn this morning..
Someone's been Fly Tipping. ___ Two blokes trapped in a cave,... ...
I didn't know that. ___ I found a Load of Zips and Buttons Dumped on my front lawn this morning..
Someone's been Fly Tipping. ___ Two blokes trapped in a cave,... ...
http://
It was the Gold Medal Wrestling Match between the Irishman and American. The Irish wrestlers corner man told his wrestler that the American had never lost a match and was famous for his Pretzel... ...
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I've just saw on the news that a man has discovered how to do origami backwards! More on this story as it unfolds.....
Children are such cry babies.
Where does it say that when you do magic tricks, the rabbit you pull out of the hat has to be alive? ___ My grandad only ever had one goal in his life...... which wasn't... ...
Where does it say that when you do magic tricks, the rabbit you pull out of the hat has to be alive? ___ My grandad only ever had one goal in his life...... which wasn't... ...
A policeman in full riot gear and taking on the protestors in Plymouth's Guildhall Square suddenly throws his shield down and starts running and running as if he was in a blind panic. Up the... ...
DOCTOR: "Did you sleep with the window open like I told you?"
ME: "Yes doc. Wide open."
DOCTOR: "And has your bronchitis gone?"
ME: "No, but my laptop and mobile phone have." ___ When I left school I... ...
ME: "Yes doc. Wide open."
DOCTOR: "And has your bronchitis gone?"
ME: "No, but my laptop and mobile phone have." ___ When I left school I... ...
I was driving down the road this morning when I suddenly disappeared into a portion of sour cream and chive.
I didn't see the dip in the road. ___ I've just got back from the doctors.
He said I've got... ...
I didn't see the dip in the road. ___ I've just got back from the doctors.
He said I've got... ...
A new priest at his first mass was so nervous he could hardly speak.
The monsignor replied, “ When I am worried about getting nervous On the pulpit, I put a glass of vodka next to the water glass.... ...
The monsignor replied, “ When I am worried about getting nervous On the pulpit, I put a glass of vodka next to the water glass.... ...
Dressage commentator: "This is really a lovely horse and I speak from personal experience since I once mounted her mother."
Paul Hamm, Gymnast: "I owe a lot to my parents, especially my mother and... ...
Paul Hamm, Gymnast: "I owe a lot to my parents, especially my mother and... ...
My mate said to me: "Do you like wearing that hi vis jacket all the time?"
I said: "I wouldn’t be seen without it !!" ___ If my name was David and I had a boy, I would have to name him Harley.
That... ...
I said: "I wouldn’t be seen without it !!" ___ If my name was David and I had a boy, I would have to name him Harley.
That... ...
